Hello!

This woman thought she was being helpful but instead, she got viciously flamed for calling her family members fat.

It all started when she posted to the Mumsnet forum asking whether it would be reasonable to offer her ‘fat’ family members advice on ‘nutrition and keeping fit.’

She said that in the past she too had been overweight ‘even bordering on fat’.

But then added that “with dedication and commitment to diet and exercise I managed to get on top of it.”

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“So I do know what I’m talking about,” she said.

My Family Members Are FAT!

“Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word ‘fat’ but I’m concerned about some family members,” she said.

“The mum is 5ft 4in with three daughters aged between 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for high blood pressure and the other two daughters are also heading that way,” she continued.

The poster said she was concerned that the mum thought it was ‘great’ that she and her daughters were all the same size as they could then wear eachother’s clothes.

Totally Clueless

“What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar.”

She then let loose and the insults flew:

Curvy Not Fat

“The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they’re luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with high blood pressure! The fact is they are all FAT and it’s self inflicted and unfair on themselves,” she ranted.

“The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but, hey, they take great care with make-up, tan, hair and nails, so that makes it okay then?” she added.

She was told by her mum not to offer any advice as the family members would get “very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight”.

She then signed off with the question:
“Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they’re not fat but have curves instead?”

Flamed!

Let’s just say that the replies were not pretty.

“What a spiteful post,” said one shocked commenter.

“Concerned people take action to help. Bitchy people post about it in derogatory terms on the internet,” said another.

“Your contempt for those young women oozes out of your post. They won’t want your advice, it’s probably fairly obvious what you think of them anyway,” said another insulted commenter.

Don’t Do It!

“Not your place to offer advice,” another agreed. “You will come off badly, no matter how you do it. I’m that size, I know I’m fat, I also know what I need to do to not be. I don’t need unsolicited advice and I guarantee you it won’t go well if you offer it to them.”

“I’m sure they’re a lot happier with themselves than you are,” one comment read. “In my opinion, only people aware that there is something really lacking in them as a person are as spiteful as you are being here.”

You Could Do With Some Sweetening Up

“Have a bit of cake. You look like you could do with sweetening up,” said another.

“Some people are naturally bigger than others. I think you need to take a biiiig step back and concentrate on your own health,” one indignant commenter said.

“I’m fat, but I can lose weight,” one woman posted. “People who are unkind about others have a problem that’s more difficult to shift.”

Well, the poster certainly hit a nerve! We don’t think she’ll be mentioning the ‘f’ word again.

Would you ever tell a friend or a family that they were fat or unhealthy? Tell us in the comments below.

  • I’m a big person and I’d take offence if you spoke to me like that, best intentions aside. If I didn’t like myself and you’ve lost all that weight then I’d approach you and ask how you did it. Do yourself a favour and keep your opinions to yourself unless asked first.

    Reply

  • It sounds like having good intentions but going about it in the worst possible way.

    Reply

  • I’m pretty sure that people who are overweight realise it all by themselves. The issue isn’t about knowing, it’s about having real support and care, not being told what to do.

    Reply

  • Absolutely not. Imagine having ringside seats for this discussion! Quite possibly the family members are happier with and about themselves than you are. Body shaming is not okay.

    Reply

  • No never. I think they are happy with that body.

    Reply

  • I think it’s ok to comment on someones health if you are worried but not peoples appearance. My friend is super skinny naturally and she is offended when people comment on that.

    Reply

  • It is up to everyone to work out their weight problems – personally I hate it when I am told that I wouldn’t be as slim as I am had I had children by people who don’t realise or know that I have 4 children. I hate mums saying that if it wasn’t for having children I wouldn’t be this size.

    Reply

  • It is kinder to be tactful and not hurt feelings.

    Reply

  • I would never comment on a family member or friends size, eating habits, etc. If asked, I would offer my honest opinion but I would not volunteer the information unsolicited!

    Reply

  • She thought she was helping, no need to crucify her for that but to answer the question, no I probably wouldn’t say it out loud to an over weight person. They know they’re size and if they choose not to do something about it, it’s on them.

    Reply

  • I don’t really feel it is my place to tell anybody else how to live their life, if they came to me for help i would be there for them but surely it is up to the person concerned to change their lifestyle.

    Reply

  • We are in an obesity epidemic. We should not be normalising obesity, we should be encouraging people to live a healthy lifestyle. People should be educated on the negatives of being obese. Take it from somebody who used to be obese, over a year later and I still suffer the consequences from obesity. I am fit and healthy now, but my joints suffer from all of the extra weight.

    Reply

  • No I’ve never commented about the size / weight / unhealthy life style to a friend / family member. They didn’t ask my advice or opinion, so no need to share it.

    Reply

  • I think a lot of the time it is a genuine concern about the health of others, more than calling them fat. There’s nothing wrong with having excess weight. And perhaps saying I’m concerned for your health, is a much nicer way of broaching the subject than saying to someone they are fat. There are also health risks involved in being too thin, but as that’s a more “desirable” body image most people don’t say anything.

    Reply

  • Um, I think really a lot has to do with the delivery and tone, this wasn’t a nice one

    Reply

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