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May 2, 2018

36 Comments

Being a mum is really hard, you have kids to look after, bills to pay, things to clean and again, kids to look after.

It can be hard to find a way to be happy during all of this, but it is possible. Here are six things that happy mums don’t do.

1. Hope for the perfect day

The perfect day is the elusive holy grail that all mothers strive for. But why? What does the perfect day really mean? If all of the dishes are done, the house is immaculate, dinner was delicious and you didn’t have bills to pay, it still wouldn’t feel like the ‘perfect day’. Motherhood is about refining and learning, trying new things and teaching your kids. You can never as a mother experience the perfect day. So wake up every morning knowing that it is a real day, enjoy the small moments and victories, and don’t get hung up on trying to make things perfect.

2. Gossip about other mums

Gossiping is one of the worst things you can do to improve your happiness. If you are gossiping about other mums, all you are doing is comparing yourself to others and trying to validate yourself by invalidating another. Everyone is different, don’t be the mum that has to point that out.

3. Fight every battle

Many mothers spend every moment of their lives fighting with their children or partner over trivial matters. Far too many mothers don’t know how to properly pick their battles. Let go sometimes, you will cause yourself far more stress trying to fight small matters that won’t add any value to your life. Let things go, enjoy being alive and just try to laugh at the small things.

4. Forget who you are

You’re a mother now, but you aren’t just a mother. You have dreams and ambitions. Don’t get caught up in the whirlwind of motherhood and realise you haven’t achieved your dreams because you spent every waking moment of your life on your children. Set aside an hour a day to learn an instrument, learn to paint, learn a language. Make sure you realise dreams you have always had, you will thank yourself for it.

5. Worry about making the wrong choices.

We all make mistakes. Being a mother doesn’t make you immune to this. If you do something wrong, don’t get hung up on it, so many mothers have done the same thing as you. remember that life is a lesson, and the moment you stop learning, the moment you stop living.

6. Base self-worth on others opinions

Right now, someone doesn’t like you, and nothing you do about it will make that change. Don’t get hung up on that one negative person. If you constantly judge yourself the same way other people see you, you’re never going to be happy with yourself. Instead, be happy being you, be happy that you have beautiful children who love you to no end. Judge yourself on what you do, and not what others think.
What advice can you give to other mothers to be happier in everyday life?

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • Great points, especially the gossip ones comparing yourself to others, and letting other people’s opinions dictate how you feel about yourself and your life. I have learned through many years of feeling awful that worrying about what others think is toxic. It can be a very hard to rewire that way of thinking. I now have a love of enjoying my own company and doing things that are positive, rather than feeling strange and a “loser” if I’m not one of the many other mums who has lots of friends who love to gossip and belittle others. It can be hard not to still feel anxious around them at events/activities with the school or sports. I have always been like that since I was a kid. I have met some people from all over the world and locally who I do mesh with. I do wonder if my personality is just one that is much more different to others around here. It is a small town.

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  • What a great list. If only it was as easy as reading a list. It’s a struggle no matter what

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  • Only 6 things on this list?! I can easily think of more then 6 things to avoid to be a happy mum

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  • Gossip can ruin a lot of friendships. Sometimes when the “story” has been told a few times it is vastly different to the start of it. Even at the beginning the “story” may not be true or has been taken out of context.

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  • Gossip is so utterly boring and the focus becomes about others and not you! It is far better and productive to focus on yourself and move forward. I have zero time for gossip.

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  • A good list here. Especially the one about talking about others. Saying bad things about people doesn’t achieve anything for anyone

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  • 3, 5 and 6! I have lost myself a little bit but I think that will come back once I don’t have someone relying on me 100% for everything.

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  • I especially like 3 and 4, picking those battles is pm important when it comes to staying sane. I also have made a really big point of finding some valuable of time it is also super important in recharging those batteries.

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  • Number two is great advice. Not just gossiping about other mums, don’t gossip full stop, it’s not helping anyone


    • It is such a waste of productive time too and why would anyone want to waste their precious time on gossip?

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  • Amen!

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  • Great advise.. I must remember rule 3 as I always fall for that one.

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  • I have got no time for gossip. life is too good and too short for all that sort of garbage!

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  • perfect piece !! too good

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  • All noted

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  • their a lot of things to think and do to be a happier mum

    Reply

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