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June 30, 2021

76 Comments

Being a mum is really hard, you have kids to look after, bills to pay, things to clean and again, kids to look after.

It can be hard to find a way to be happy during all of this, but it is possible. Here are six things that happy mums don’t do.

1. Hope for the perfect day

The perfect day is the elusive holy grail that all mothers strive for. But why? What does the perfect day really mean? If all of the dishes are done, the house is immaculate, dinner was delicious and you didn’t have bills to pay, it still wouldn’t feel like the ‘perfect day’. Motherhood is about refining and learning, trying new things and teaching your kids. You can never as a mother experience the perfect day. So wake up every morning knowing that it is a real day, enjoy the small moments and victories, and don’t get hung up on trying to make things perfect.

2. Gossip about other mums

Gossiping is one of the worst things you can do to improve your happiness. If you are gossiping about other mums, all you are doing is comparing yourself to others and trying to validate yourself by invalidating another. Everyone is different, don’t be the mum that has to point that out.

3. Fight every battle

Many mothers spend every moment of their lives fighting with their children or partner over trivial matters. Far too many mothers don’t know how to properly pick their battles. Let go sometimes, you will cause yourself far more stress trying to fight small matters that won’t add any value to your life. Let things go, enjoy being alive and just try to laugh at the small things.

4. Forget who you are

You’re a mother now, but you aren’t just a mother. You have dreams and ambitions. Don’t get caught up in the whirlwind of motherhood and realise you haven’t achieved your dreams because you spent every waking moment of your life on your children. Set aside an hour a day to learn an instrument, learn to paint, learn a language. Make sure you realise dreams you have always had, you will thank yourself for it.

5. Worry about making the wrong choices.

We all make mistakes. Being a mother doesn’t make you immune to this. If you do something wrong, don’t get hung up on it, so many mothers have done the same thing as you. remember that life is a lesson, and the moment you stop learning, the moment you stop living.

6. Base self-worth on others opinions

Right now, someone doesn’t like you, and nothing you do about it will make that change. Don’t get hung up on that one negative person. If you constantly judge yourself the same way other people see you, you’re never going to be happy with yourself. Instead, be happy being you, be happy that you have beautiful children who love you to no end. Judge yourself on what you do, and not what others think.

What advice can you give to other mothers to be happier in everyday life?

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  • I needed to read this today. Thanks for the advice.

    Reply

  • Never ever sweat on the small things.
    Not worth it

    Reply

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. Take time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself too in order to take care of others.

    Reply

  • Make sure you make time for yourself. I now manage to go to the gym or for a walk most days. It is great for my mental and physical health.

    Reply

  • Comparing yourself to other mums is a big one.
    I think if you compare yourself to someone who is a so called super mum you won’t be happy. Peoples lifestyles are all different, their kids are different and they also work at different paces so if someone can fit more into one day then another you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself.

    Reply

  • Don’t worry about anyone else s judgements,. you can’t control them.

    Reply

  • Love your children and make sure they know just how much you love them. Listen, talk and share experiences. Let them know you are there for them and they can tell you anything. We are all learning as we go and every child is different. Except that you will make mistakes and so will they. Learn from them and move on. There is no such thing as a perfect parent only those with perfect intentions.

    Reply

  • There is no such thing as a perfect parent. The internet is so guilty of putting extra pressure on parents to get it right allll the time.
    Please remember that people don’t usually post about their bad days, they are not perfect parents either and that’s ok.
    What you do is enough.

    Reply

  • Be reflective.

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  • Never compare yourself to others

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  • I find myself doing so many of these things you really have to remind yourself

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  • Very good reminders. When I was uni I had one lecturer say “it’s not an emergency until you have to call 000” that same method should be applied to all areas of life. Sometime we do have to just let things be what they are!

    Reply

  • Sending this link to a close friend who always puts way too much pressure on herself!

    Reply

  • A very good minder indeed

    Reply

  • These are all good suggestions to take on board.

    Reply

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