Mum shares her reaction when she realised she was going to need a caesarean.
I’ve have read things said about mothers who have had caesareans before.
“It’s the easy way out”
“Matter of convenience”
“You didn’t really give birth”
“Your baby will grow up obese”
“I don’t want to see that”
These are quite literally things I’ve read and seen said about these mothers with no exaggeration.
Today I learned, after two vaginal births, I will become a mother who is going to have a caesarean. I have placenta previa, which means my placenta is fully covering my cervix.. and that even if my placenta moves away from my cervix, it won’t be enough to give birth vaginally. There is literally no other way, no other choice. It is life or death for me and my baby.
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Imagine going through a life or death situation, only to be told “you didn’t really give birth”. Imagine you are 36 hours into labour and your baby’s heart is stopping, only to be told it was a “matter of convenience”, imagine learning you could lose your baby if you didn’t go through major abdominal surgery and be told “it’s the easy way out”. Imagine being ready to birth in a pool with essential oils and having a strong dream and desire about giving birth a certain way only to have that ripped away from you and for people to discard your warrior scar with a “I don’t want to see that”
I say, f#ck those people.
For the woman who has had a caesarean, you are strong, and not only for you, but for your child as well. For the woman who had birthed vaginally, you are strong. In fact, we are all strong, we are beautiful, and we all have the right to say we birthed our children. these kids all grow up, at some point they’ll pick their nose, eat dirt, grow up, fall in love – all the while their mothers watching them with so much love, being everything for them, sacrificing their body so they can get their first breath.
A stretch mark doesn’t define a mother, a belly doesn’t define a mother, and a scar sure as hell doesn’t define a mother.
They are just reminders that a mothers love is one of the toughest and strongest incomparable type of love there is, so wear your scar with pride.
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