Close family usually takes centre stage at a wedding but in a controversial move, this bride is considering shunning her own sister-in-law from her wedding.
The struggling woman sought the opinions from Mumsnet readers to figure out if she was being unreasonable for uninviting her sister-in-law to her marriage celebrations, due to “split loyalties”.
The bride-to-be has said that she feels that her SIL is too close for comfort to her fiance’s ex-wife.
She’s Loyal To The Ex-Wife
She wrote: “After a very long conversation it has transpired that (my partner) thinks his (sister) has an issue with us. She has some “split loyalty” issues and she doesn’t wants to upset his ex-wife for being close to us.”
“Their split happened years ago and she’s always been weird but with our wedding date upon us, I’ve told him that she either comes in “good faith” or she’s not welcome. I understand the split loyalty thing, but it’s time to move on as I’m as part of the family as the ex-wife was/is.”
“She’s not been “horrible” but her behaviour is odd to say the least. She always makes excuses to not see us, gives birthday/Christmas presents for ex-wife rather than us, in more than three years of us being together she seen us 4 times and she lives locally. The list goes on ..”
Don’t Do It!
The post incited quite the fierce debate with many saying that the sister-in-law should not be booted off the guest list.
“It’s HIS decision whether she’s invited or not because she’s HIS family and would be there as HIS guest, not yours. How would you feel if your partner told you that you couldn’t have your family members there?”
“He ‘thinks’ she has an issue? Has she said anything to you or been horrible? If not then of course she should come to the wedding, she’s his sister ffs.”
“You’re going to cause a family rift in which you will be the bad guy in the eyes of his family. Is that really what you want? if you want to isolate him then crack on,” one poster warned.
Have A Chat
Others suggested that the bride should have a heart-to-heart with the sister-in-law and try and sort things out before the big day.
“I’d talk to her about it, not confrontational but mention it seems she doesn’t feel comfortable with you and you’re worried she feels loyalty to his ex wife and it’s blocking her having a relationship with you. See what she says.”
What advice would you give to this bride? Tell us in the comments below.