Listen up mums, quit your moaning – Childbirth pain is all in your head!

A post on Reddit has attracted thousands of comments (as you can imagine) after one dad claimed that “the pain of childbirth is a myth and it’s really just all in our heads due to fear and anxiety.”

Yep. It would take a man to make such a ballsy comment.

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You can imagine the comments, here are a few examples:-

– “I hate those examples of “my partner did it, so although I know nothing about it, I know it all because someone so close to me lived it.”

– “Good for his wife. I’m really happy she found something that worked for her. Too bad he needs to generalize her experience to all women and conclude something so stupid.”

– “Ya seriously, the pain is not only subjective it’s also objective considering from woman to woman births are very different, last a different amount of time, have so many different complications.

– He might as well say “I was stabbed and it didn’t hurt at all”.

– “My wife tried all the stuff in labor, did not work at all. All the exercises and walking around and whatever else you could conceivably and it was just completely pain. She refused all medications which shocked the hell out of me. Her contractions where stacked, there was literally no intervals, just back to back contractions for 6 hours. Yeah, childbirth pain is f@cking real.”

– “I’m sure she felt freakin marvellous for the next few hours, into months. You can hypnotise (or whatever) pain during childbirth away, but that’s a no toilet paper zone for a week MINIMUM.”

– “This. Some women do experience bliss and minimal pain during childbirth, and we shouldn’t diminish that. But blaming everybody else for having a different experience is unhelpful and disrespectful.”

– One commenter pointed out, “He’s probably referring to the Hypno Babies or Hypno Birthing methods of managing childbirth. Women practice self-hypnosis as a way to cope with labor pain, or even anxiety during pregnancy.

It worked well for me with my second birth after having a very traumatic and painful birth with my first. There were still moments that were extremely unpleasant, but I was able to focus on my breathing and reframing “pain” thoughts to get through pretty easily. I also had a very supportive hospital team, which many women do not have access to.

It doesn’t work for everyone. Women should be encouraged to research their options and make the choices that are best for them. It would be cool if dude bros would keep their opinions on female experiences to themselves.”

– Another said, “Oh yeah, it has definitely nothing to do with the skin being torn, or abrupt bone rearrangement, no. It’s all in our heads.

Certainly nothing to do with the fact that a newborn has an average length of 50 cm (20 in for you lovely Americans) and weigh 3 kg (7 lbs) either.”

– “To which I say, I dare you to tear a hole behind your balls, then tear it even more until you can shit an 8 lb Thanksgiving turkey, and try not to cry.”

Although to be fair one mum does agree with his theory

Author Milli Hill recently spoke about childbirth, saying the pain is not as bad as women think.

When discussing her latest book, The Positive Birth Book, in an article for The Telegraph, Milli touched on how painful birth really is.

She said: ‘When I was writing The Positive Birth Book, I wanted to reconsider the widely held idea that giving birth is mostly spent writhing on your back in non-stop agony.

‘I wondered why people don’t tell you more about the time in between contractions, when (in a straightforward labour with a well positioned baby), you don’t feel in pain at all.’

‘In my own experience – and that of the many mums I’ve spoken to – in the time between contractions you often feel incredibly strong, excited, or even euphoric,’ she said.

‘As one woman put it, “It’s not a million miles off magic mushrooms, not that I ever tried them you understand.”’

Milli said after doing the maths, she found out 77% of labour is ‘pain-free’:

‘I did the maths, and the results were surprising. In an average eight-hour labour, a woman can expect to be ‘in pain’ for only around 23% of the time. The other 77% is ‘pain-free’.

‘And even in ‘the nightmare labour from hell’ – 36 hours of contractions coming thick and fast – she can still expect to be without pain for around 60% of the time.

‘Why does nobody talk to pregnant women about ‘the 77%’?’

Hmmm she makes a good point. It is just that PAIN is so hard to forget about so we can focus on anything else. Right?

Share your comments below.

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  • what a fool obviously someone wanting to create controversy


  • Quite simply, it’s different for everyone. My pain is not anyone else’s pain. My experience is not anyone else’s experience.


  • Said no woman ever!


  • In between my contractions I was having micro sleeps – I was that exhausted!


  • If this is true then why do guys complain so much when they have a cold or hangover. Tell them it’s all in their head and see how they like it.


  • Of course it was said by a male. Let’s hook him up to the contraction simulator and see if he feels the same way!


  • My first I had complications and had a longer recovery time. But the pain during labour was manageable. Gas only when needed and heat pack to ease my sciatica.
    My 2nd was complication free and minimal recovery needed,yet the labour was more intense, non stop and painful.
    I’ve heard of hypno birthing and I’m glad it worked for this guy’s wife, but you honestly can’t judge based on observation only of 1 persons experience. On paper, my 2nd should’ve been easier and more prepared, but no, mentally I was in a worse position. Thankfully my body did its job without my mind messing things up


  • With my first I had non stop pain for 2.5 days. With my second I had my first contraction at 11am, went to the hospital at 7:15pm and she was born at 8:08pm. Every labour is different. It hurts but not enough to stop most of us doing it again.


  • I didn’t get a break between contractions so it was definitely more painful than pain-free. How we choose to express our pain is an individual choice but there is no way around the fact that it’s going to be painful.


  • wow 10 points for being a massive troll! everybody has different pain level tolerances but this is an ignorant statement for sure.


  • I have heard it said by a Mum that kidney stone pain is similar to childbirth.
    Men who have had kidney stones may relate to the pain Mums go through.


  • Easy (and of course a bit ignorant) to say for a man who’ll never go trough childbirth. It’s different for everyone indeed.


  • Ha ha. I suppose if I hit his finger with a hammer, that pain is only in his head also.


  • What a stupid comment. Made by someone who has never had to go through childbirth. I feel sorry for his wife/partner


  • When my husband got his snip I may have felt a tiny bit of joy at his pain when the dr put the needle with the local in. And told him to suck it up because it will never be as bad as childbirth.
    The doctor looked at me and said, being serious, that actually a needle in a mans sack is much worse than childbirth because childbirth is natural and a sack needle isn’t.
    Natural don’t mean it tickles!


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