Do you have a child or teenager who doesn’t seem confident in his or her own skin? 

If you are worried that they feel a little lost, or concerned others may negatively influence them, helping them recognise their values is a great place to start. This gives them a basis for determining who they are and what is important to them.

When children and teens have a stronger sense of themselves, they tend to feel less anxious and more empowered.

The following simple strategy is a great place to start. It will enable you to have some conversations with them (if they’re willing) and also helps them develop some self awareness.

Determining what is important to them also gives them the opportunity to respectfully stand up for what they feel is acceptable and helps them learn resilience and independence.

Below are some key points to discuss and list down together:

  • My parents values are
  • The values of someone else I respect are
  • Societies values are
  • Values that I think I should live by
  • Values I actually live by
  • Most important things to me

You could also do this activity as a family to give you an opportunity to discuss your differences and similarities.

What ways do you try and help boost your kids confidence levels? Feel free to leave your comments below.

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  • Some valid things to consider, thanks.


  • Isn’t it funny how differently your kids turn out even though they grow up in the same situation. We have a daughter who is so outgoing and a son the complete opposite. What did we do wrong or right fir that matter?


  • Being confident in yourself usually provides a good example for your kids to follow.


  • Some key points we could ask ourselves.


  • I really like this article and will be trying this with my kids.


  • Definately good conversation topics. Talking is extremely important.


  • Thanks for this advice, hopefully this will also help with extreme shyness.


  • each child is different so don t compare one kids with other and encourage small small things they do.


  • I point out the achievements that they don’t easily recognise.


  • Great list thanks might give this a go


  • I thought this was about how to boost kids confidence, but it’s about behaviour, and where they learn it from. Should change heading.


  • Thank you for sharing your interesting and helpful article.


  • my daughter and granddaughter are like my best friends, we can talk about everything and anything… Christmas is so special for us


  • At what age do you think a young child should develop empathy?


  • I build my son’s self esteem with open lines of communication, praising my son on effort, telling our own life experiences. Congratulating where it’s due. Not over-praising.


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