As the founder and CEO of The High Tea Party event series, and mother of three including a 6 month old, it’s the question I get asked the most: “how do you do it!?”
The answer is often with a smile, sometimes with a frown, and more often than not, it’s also a question I ask myself, as I steal a couple minutes every morning before I head out and tackle ‘it’.
From humble beginnings as an idea I hoped would take off, The High Tea Party is now a series of annual events hosted in Adelaide, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, Brisbane – and as of this year, also Auckland. It’s an event where women are pampered and indulge in a day with their girlfriends, and moving it around the country, and now across the Tasman, as well as managing my household and raising three gorgeous children can leave me craving some pampering and indulging of my own!
Some days I feel like I can do it all easily, others – not so much.
However, if I have learnt anything from my years of simultaneously working and being a mother, it’s these three things:
1) It’s okay if it’s not picture perfect
I think the biggest problem women face is not our workload or others’ expectations, but what we expect of ourselves.
I had to learn very quickly that I couldn’t have it all under control and that didn’t mean things would fall apart. Yes, sometimes my child had food all over their face and I didn’t clean it within seconds while answering work e-mails or making phone calls to event partners, and sometimes my kids have to come to meetings – and that’s okay.
This was especially important for me to realise in the beginning stages of my business and the first few years starting a family. Sometimes things aren’t picture perfect, and that’s okay! As long as you’re moving, from A to B, no matter the pace or no matter what it looks like – you’re still moving!
2) Accept help!
Once again, I think that we as women often try to do it all ourselves and we feel that accepting help is akin to failing.
That means trying to do everything solo often comes at the detriment of our sanity!
Sometimes the most graceful thing is to accept someone else’s graces – whether it’s home cooked lasagna, looking after the kids for an hour, or asking for some business advice or guidance.
I’ve had to realise the benefits of seeking help as I go from mother to manager in my different roles. There are some things I can do, and I do them very well, but there are others where my skills are lost and I’d be a fool to do it all myself!
I’ve learnt to accept offers of help, and to ask for it when I need it, and I encourage others to do that too.
3) Make time for yourself
Although it may seem like a crazy choice amongst the madness and mayhem, making space for yourself is very important.
It not only gives you the headspace to think and create, it also means you can go out into the world, whether it’s baby or business, and be recharged and ready to tackle what’s thrown at you.
Taking a day, or even a couple of hours out means you’re able to better engage with who you are, what you love and how you live each day. It’s not easy, but it means you can be the best business person, mother, wife and friend which benefits everyone.
So ladies, remember to count to three, and better yet – do it with me at your local High Tea Party!