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An irate dad has flipped his lid at his son’s teacher, after she insisted he invite his entire class of 24 children to his birthday party.

The furious dad says he ‘lost his cool’ at his six-year-old son’s teacher, and told her to go ‘f*** herself’ for trying to impose her rules on his home.

“I got a call from my son’s teacher today,” the dad said on reddit. “Let’s say her name is Ms. Goldbaum. She says, ‘Hi are you Al’s father? I say yes and ask if everything is OK. She tells me that she understands he is having a birthday party and that he invited a few of his friends from class, but not everyone. I said, ‘Yeah, there are a few kids in there that he has problems with and also I don’t think we can really handle hosting 24 kids and their parents’.”

The dad thought his explanation would be enough, but the teacher said she needed to enforce the rule that all children in a class need to be invited.

“She tells me that there is a rule that if any kids in the class are invited that all kids in the class are invited. I told her it is an event off school hours on private property in my home. She can no more tell me what I do there and who I can and can’t invite anymore than I can decide who is invited to her Thanksgiving dinner.

“She then tells me there is a good reason for the rule since kids get their feelings hurt if they get left out. So then I pointed out to her that there are 24 kids in the class. If their parents attend the party with them then that can be upwards of 72 people and I told her that’s just not a reasonable thing to ask. I also point out that he has friends from other classes attending, so do I have to invite that whole other class too?”

 ‘You can go f*** yourself’

But the teacher wouldn’t budge, explaining that her rule needs to be respected.

“She then said, ‘Al is in my class. He is under my supervision. This is my rule.’ I then told her that Al is only under her supervision while he was in class. I am the one throwing the party, and she doesn’t get to make rules for my house or me. She then said if it involves her class, she does.

“After a bit of back and forth on this, I lost my cool. I said, ‘Lady, it’s pretty clear that you’re too used to bossing around kids who have to listen to you and that you don’t seem to understand that your little fiefdom ends at the end of the school day and doesn’t go further than schoolhouse gates. I am not a six-year-old in your class. I’m a 38-year-old union electrician planning a private event in my own home, off school hours. If you think you’re the one to make the rules for me, in my home on which I pay the mortgage on, you can go f*** yourself and there isn’t a goddamn thing you can do about it.’ She then kind of stammered and I ended the call.

“My wife agrees that the school has no business telling us who we can and can’t invite into our home and that they don’t make rules for our house. However, she says I went too far in telling Ms Goldbaum to go f*** herself. I am very comfortable with telling her that she has no right to tell us who we can and can’t invite into our home and that it is crazy I might have to invite up to 72 people for my son to have any friends from his class attend but in truth, I do kind of wish I left that last ‘go f*** yourself” part off.

“But my friends at work and a few other parents tell me someone needed to take her down a peg since she was getting too big for her britches and deserved a lesson about overstepping.”

Do you think this dad went too far? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • A parent at the school my kids attended tried to get a similiar rule put in place because her son (new to the school) wasn’t invited to a few parties at the start of the year. My daughter who is in the same class and had been friends with the kids for 2 years didn’t get invited either. This little boy apparently got very upset and felt left out, which is why his parents tried to make sure everyone got invited. My daughter while upset, accepted that not everyone gets invited to every party and it’s the way life is. Kids need to learn this.
    While I think the Dad’s choice of words in this story wasn’t correct, I think he’s 100% in the right to stand his ground and not have the teacher tell him what he can and can’t do at his house. If she’s not paying for it and not organising it then it’s of no concern to her.

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  • No I don’t think it did.

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  • It’s quite astonishing that the teacher felt able to issue this edict.

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  • I can completely see where he is coming from although probably not the right way to have gone about it!

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  • Oh dear, We invited every child to our children’s first year of school, birthday party. That worked well as we were all still getting to know each other. I would feel very cross too, being told what to do in my own home etc.

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  • I can understand the Dad losing his temper over this. The teacher had no right to say what she did. If she thinks he should invite the whole class plus parents, then she needs to be the one to organise and pay for it. It’s a wonder she didn’t complain that she wasn’t invited either.

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  • I understand the frustration but its not her fault for the rules. These rules are in place to stop kids feeling left out, however if only a few are invited and still alot not then there shouldnt be a need to invite all

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  • Totally agree with the dads sentiments and feelings – she was bang out of order! He probably shouldn’t have sworn… but it does seem she was carrying on and on relentlessly and that would be enough for anyone to slip with an expletive!

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  • I don’t understand why the father has anything to do with this. It’s something that the child must listen to.

    The teacher has uncontested authority over the child because they’re in her class. It’s that simple. This ideation is not just for the lower grades. It’s for all grades. And it’s not just for birthday parties. It’s further reaching than that.

    A teacher even has control over what a child does in their spare time, outside of school.

    For example, if a teacher decides that they are going to assign a school project to a child to work on at home on a long weekend (you know, because they have no school; therefore they must have time to spend on school work at home) and the teacher decides that it’s due on the first day back to school, the family may need to cancel their vacation plans to accommodate this or the child will either fail that assignment or fall behind because no school time will be provided for the school assignment.

    That’s their right and authority as an educator. As long as the school year is in session, they don’t need to consult with a parent at all when making decisions about the children in their class.

    Well… this is what I was told by the principal of my kids’ school, anyway. So it must be true.

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  • Good on him for standing up to her. That is completely unreasonable and it should be left up to parents how they choose to host.

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  • This teacher sounds terrifying!
    I have worked in child care and if I ever spoke to a parent like that I would have been fired.

    Being disappointed sometimes is a part of life
    You can’t be invited to every party

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  • When my nephew was in kindergarten, a girl invited every child in the class except my nephew. I am good friends with this girls Aunty so I had met the parents and the child involved. My sister said her only problem was that the invites were handed out publicly which is obviously fine the majority of the time, but she thought they should have been a bit more discreet given that her son was the only one not invited. I agreed. She knew I knew the family but didn’t even mention that to me until later on, not that it would have made a difference. Despite having this experience I find it MORTIFYING that said teacher felt she could suggest such a thing, let alone being so insistent! Good on the dad for not backing down, I would her told her to fuck herself straight off the bat!

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  • I totally agree with the father. I would probably have sworn too under those circumstances. Who does she think she is. She gets to say what happens in her classroom, not what happens after the children go home. I would have probably hung up on her a lot sooner than the dad did, and I would have called the school to report her behaviour personally. She is way overstepping her boundaries.

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  • Well it’s his son’s birthday and the party is outside school hours. He is right to stand firm but yes, could have omitted tgdwjapt bit.. Just wonder how many of the other parents listen and obey her rules.

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  • He shouldn’t have sworn at the teacher but she had no right to dictate anything! He might want to make sure that his son isn’t a target now for her.

    Reply

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