Husband Asks, 'Was I Wrong For Sneaking Off On A Trip Without My Wife And Daughter?'

A frustrated dad has felt the wrath of the internet, after asking if he’d done anything wrong by sneaking off on a ski trip without his wife and daughter.

He explained on reddit that he and his wife have a four-year-old daughter, Chloe, who is very clingy to his wife when she’s sick.

“She’s basically been sick since Halloween. One thing she does when she doesn’t feel well is refuse to sleep without my wife, so almost every night for the past month and a half, my wife and Chloe have been sleeping in the guest room.

“The problem is Chloe is a kicker and likes to sprawl out so my wife doesn’t sleep well when she’s sleeping next to Chloe. To let her get some rest, I’ve been getting up an hour and a half early every day so I could take Chloe in the mornings. I get her dressed, do her hair, give her breakfast, and drop her off at daycare/play with her on weekends while my wife locks herself in the guest room.

“This has been exhausting so when my friends invited me on a ski trip last weekend I obviously wanted to go. I tried to tell my wife about it but she shut it down immediately. I thought she was being unfair because at least she gets a break in the mornings and when Chloe’s at daycare.”

So what did this husband do? He decided to sneak off on the FOUR DAY (!) ski trip and leave his wife and daughter sleeping at home, without even saying goodbye.

“I don’t get a break so last weekend I packed up and left the house before Chloe and my wife woke up. I sent her a text telling her where I am and when I’ll be back.”

Unsurprisingly, when he returned, his wife and daughter were gone.

“When I got back, there was a note saying Chloe and my wife were staying with my wife’s family and that she hopes the trip was worth it. The only time she’s spoken to me is when she texted me pictures of Chloe at a park to let me know that she’s okay.

“My friends all say she’s overreacting and that she shouldn’t keep my kid from me but my mom called me and cursed me out for leaving my wife with Chloe over the weekend. Am I the a**hole?”

The husband’s post attracted more than a thousand comments, most of them explaining exactly why he is, indeed, an a**hole:

One person commented, “If you were just trying to get a day of skiing in with your friends, that seems pretty reasonable. All parents need a break and a day to yourself is something both of you deserve. But if you snuck out of the house for a weekend or longer? I’d be gone, too.”

Another replied: “If this is original poster’s attitude, his wife should just divorce him. Chances are she’ll get more help at home with her parents and not have to deal with someone who thinks the world revolves around him. I feel so sorry for original poster’s wife. I think she just married someone who lacks all empathy.”

While another person said, “You’ve been getting a break every damn night, dude. Your wife is the one getting no sleep all night, except for the couple of hours you think is ‘exhausting’.”

Let us know what you think about what this husband did in the comments below!

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30 Comments

- - mom169205 said
  - 11 Jan 2023
    9:35 pm
I wouldn’t be impressed myself. If you take separate holidays though prob not a biggie, but should of manned up and just said tough your going, had it out with your wife and left compared to just leaving like that

- - mom101628 said
  - 27 Dec 2022
    5:37 pm
I don’t condemn what you did, but I certainly condemn the way that you did it.

- - MummaD said
  - 16 Dec 2022
    9:53 pm
If she shut him down he first time, why didn’t he try talking to her again, like maybe a shorter trip or suggesting she go to her parents with Chloe etc while he went away? Don’t sneak out! So wrong!

- - tessie said
  - 16 Dec 2022
    12:19 pm
You shouldn’t have snuck out without telling your wife. I understand you tried but she shut that down. Don’t you think that meant NO. Not sure how you’re going to get back in her good books if ever. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place if you wanted to do what you wanted anyway. Hope you get things sorted sooner rather than later

- - mom486197 said
  - 14 Dec 2022
    10:24 am
Why didn’t he talk to his wife first. Sneaking out is never a good idea especially because she isn’t getting any sleep and her daughter is a mover in her sleep. My daughter is clingy and does the same when she sleeps but there are other ways around getting some down time away from it all. I would have been very annoyed if this was me.

- - mom465794 said
  - 14 Dec 2022
    9:56 am
I would’ve done the same to be honest – sneaking is a no for me

- - rovermum said
  - 14 Dec 2022
    9:52 am
Sneaking out? That is so not on. It’s deceitful, dishonest, and so inconsiderate. Did you leave a note? Did you leave your wife worrying about where you were — just something to add to her mental load? Perhaps a bit of communication where you take this break, but she also gets one too, might have been a better option. Or, just get over yourself. You’re a parent now and you need to make sacrifices.

- - Scientia said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    11:25 pm
Not a great move by the husband to sneak out of the house for a four day holiday. I understand his wife his angry, but I don’t think moving out was the answer and will only cause more problems.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    8:23 pm
The wife said she was not okay with it, so he sneaks out anyway? Total jerk thing to do. Everyone deserves a break, but maybe pick a better time and with your wife’s approval.

- - BellaB said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    6:49 pm
Wrong on so many levels. Wrong to not really be recognising the impact on his wife of no sleep. Wrong to leave without telling her (or discussing it!). Wrong to leave his wife with no support for four days. Wrong to have to ask if he’s wrong!

- - mom465683 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    2:49 pm
Yep not okay. Fair enough that she was going away to her family.

- - CrystalG said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    1:30 pm
Yeah this is not okay. You made a choice to have a child as well and it seems like your wife is doing all the parenting.. for both Chloe and the husband
I’d be out of there too!

- - Kaylie035 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    11:04 am
He is definitely the ‘A*hole’.

I’d have packed and left too… what a selfish thig to do and so hurtful to the wife and Chloe.

- - Mom466555 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    10:38 am
Wow this is the worst thing ever. My husband would not be let back into the house
- mom93821 replied
  
  14 Dec 2022 , 6:59 am
  I agree, there would be a swift response.
- - mom265671 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    10:13 am
Definitely not the right way to do it thats for sure

- - cassy26 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    9:48 am
Yep, definitely in the wrong…. I would have left as well…. or maybe just had the locks changed…

- - TraceyGail said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    7:25 am
Yep, a lousy thing to do.

- - mom93821 said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    7:00 am
A hard NO, sneaking off is unacceptable in every possible way and trust and respect would be eroded.

- - Ellen said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    5:19 am
I can’t imagine doing something like this without communicating it

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 13 Dec 2022
    12:33 am
Oh dear. He has no respect for his wife and her needs.