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An expecting mum says her husband’s unsupportive comments have driven her to contemplate banning him from watching his child be born. But she’s wondering if she’s being too harsh.

The 28-year-old mum-to-be says she and her 31-year-old husband are expecting a baby in a few weeks, after a rough, high-risk pregnancy filled with pain and discomfort.

While she says she’s been battling painful pregnancy symptoms since she was eight-weeks pregnant, her husband has been less that supportive.

“Any time I’ve experienced pain, he’s made sure to mention how it couldn’t possibly be hurting THAT bad,” she explained. “I’ll be hunched over crying in pain, and he just asks if I’m okay.

“I’ve literally had to BEG for back massages to help ease the pain, and the few times I’m lucky enough to get one, it’s only for about five minutes. Today he asked how I was feeling, and I told him I was in a lot of pain. His comment was, “Well you looked fine this morning”.

“I’m sick of having such an unsupportive partner in this pregnancy, and I sure as hell don’t want him in the delivery room telling me “I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that bad”. Willing to admit I might just be hormonal right now. But would I be an asshole for not allowing him in, and instead replacing him with my mother, who I know will actually be supportive/helpful to me?”

What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • You need to work out if you are doing this to punish him or if you seriously need your mothers support. You can have her there as well as him but dont block him out.

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  • Way to ruin a marriage. He won’t forget you picking your mum over him. His comments could be his way of dealing with guilt for being the one to put you in your condition.

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  • I can understand her feelings but we do need to realise we’re all diffferent wired. Most women have a balance between the two hemispheres of the brain, while men have more developed left brain than right brain.
    I think when she would refuse him to be present at the birth of their child this could bring permanent damage to their relationship. The child is just as much his as it is hers.

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  • It’s 100% up to you who you have in the delivery room with you. As they say on Call The Midwife………its all about mother and baby

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  • That is very sad, maybe you need to talk yo him and tell him how you feel. Also I wouldn’t consider not having him there, you could regret it in the future

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  • I totally understand why you’re upset but not having your husband in the delivery room is a big call and it may have long lasting consequences. I would definitely consider having your mum in there as well though.

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  • (I would) have your mum in the room also, that way if he’s not as supportive as you would like then she could step in – he may well be very different when it comes to the delivery. All the best for a safe and happy birthing experience.

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  • Most men don’t understand the pain that we go through right through the pregnancy. Whether hormonal or not, tell your husband that he can be with you but you will also have your Mother with you. If he’s not happy about that, tell him you wouldn’t mind if only your Mother was with you. I wish you all the best and congratulations

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  • Sometimes men dont understand things and my husband hasnt been always supportive butnthe thought of not letting him witness the birth of our children never crossed my mind. Its a special moment, dont let ill feelings spoil it

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  • Maybe hormones are working overtime and she needs to take time to just relax and enjoy the ride. Her husband deserves to be there.

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  • Thats something you can never take back. And something that would affect him forever. I think there are better ways to deal with his attitude, revenge isn’t it.

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  • I think he deserves to be in the room as it’s his baby too and he wouldn’t want to miss such a huge life event BUT I also think you need to have someone else in there as a support for you who will step in and actually support you

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  • Maybe go with both in the delivery room. An opportunity to see first hand the reality of birth and witness how someone in a supporting role acts.

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  • Generally I think if your husband wants to be in the delivery room, he should be… but it really does sound like he’ll make it harder than you need it to be. Maybe have a word with your doctor in advance so they can remove him if needed.

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  • I think it would strain your relationship even more if you didn’t allow him to attend the birth. I feel he would always hold it against you. I would try my hardest to tell him how you are feeling and what you are intending to do. I do feel for you that he is being unsupportive to the pain you are experiencing. Maybe have your Mum there too for the support that you need if he is being awful. Hopefully when he realises that being pregnant and giving birth is not easy on a woman he might have some empathy towards you. I wish you all the best.

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  • Definitely have someone you feel is there to support you. You do whats best for you

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  • Maybe have a second support person there with your husband?

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  • My partner wasn’t sympathetic at all, I did have him at the birth, but the nurses soon saw that he was no help and would suggest that he go for a walk and get some air. So they helped me out as much as they could. Perhaps you could do the same and talk to the staff. And suggest that you have your mum their to give him a break.

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  • Looks like you got a good one there .Its time you stood up for yourself and let him know you are independent and do not need him .Stand up for yourself now because he will get worse as time goes on . Ask him to look up some real estate prices in an area you like and get his mind going .You need to train that puppy now before he bites you.

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  • Tread carefully here. He might be hurting you with his actions now, but not having him there could have lasting damage to the relationship. You need to talk to him openly and honestly about how you feel.


    • I agree that it could bring permanent damage to the relationship. I also think that in any conversation we should bear in mind that we’re all wired differently and respect this

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