Sorry, completely out of line here.

In this case you are in the wrong. You should have had a discussion with her parents before anything, you should have told your husband how you felt. You should have made your feelings clear and then let them talk and decide, but you have gone rogue and done the wrong thing.

NOPE! This is so wrong and evil!

Surely this isn’t real. Surely not.
Who would do something so cruel?

This behaviour was wrong on so many levels.

You should never have made that decision on your own. You should have insisted on having a discussion with your husband first and explained your reasons for wanting to cut her hair. You should have told them both that you weren’t going to do her hair anymore and asked your husband (her Dad) to do something about it. She was old enough to do her own hair. Now it sounds like you’ve lost the love of your step-daughter and possibly your husband as well. Wish you luck because I think you’re going to need it after this mistake

No! No! No! That decision is her real Mum and Dad and the child’s. Sorry Stepmum this time you are in the wrong. I really feel for the child as now she feels different towards you and in time you will get back some trust but not all. She will remember this incident her whole life. Girls love their hair. Over time you may have been able to convince her to cut her locks but now she felt made to have them lopped! Dad has a right to feel angry, as does her Mum who shares custody. Apologies are required and realize your mistake and always have respect that you are the third wheel in this relationship. Sorry this happen to you.

Oooooh! I think there was definitely other ways to deal with this. A conversation with her father first, perhaps. And even with her stepdaughter, rather than springing it on her. Even in spite of her stepdaughter’s protests (and the hairdresser feeling uncomfortable), she still insisted! This will not have a happy ending.

Wrong way to go about it. It wasn’t right to cut the girls hair so short. that was wrong. A longer length that the girl would have agreed to would have been more appropriate. Discussion should have come first with the father and the girls birth mother before anyone had the right to cut that poor girls hair

It wasn’t right to cut the girls hair that short, that was wrong. A longer length that the girl would have agreed to would have been more appropriate. Discussion should have come first with the father and the girls birth mother.

Sorry but I semi agree with your husband. I don’t think you should have made her cut her hair and I would have reacted the exact same way. Clearly it was a burden on your day and Nothing more. I find that quite selfish. Good on dad for sticking up for his daughter and putting her first.

Yep you are the a-Hole. I couldn’t even read all this.
I’d never in a million years do this to a child, any child step daughter or not. It’s not your body how dare you say how she should own it! Her hair her choice.
I can’t believe you did it. Did you maybe negotiate with I cannot keep up with the product you choose so can you perhaps either scale down how much is used or find a cheaper alternative? Did you ask her if she would like to either give up her product or her hair?
Id be as furious as them sorry whether it’s your own child or someone else’s you do not get to make choices for them, they have a right to be heard and valued. Sadly you have destroyed all trust now.

I’m sorry you are being bashed from all corners of this, I can only imagine how tough and exhausted you are, But you have to weigh up consequences and you should most definitely have spoken to both parents and your stepchild first about what you wanted done and let them all discuss it.

the audacity of this woman is baffling. she had no right to do that. no wonder step mums gets a bad rap, whens he knew she was in the wrong in the first place and made it happen through tears.. its bullying

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 28 Jun 2023 , 8:06 am

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  She had no right indeed, so wrong !

i had long hair when i was young. now all gone.

I also agree with most of the comments below. I don’t have long hair but even I don’t like it when the hairdresser cuts too much off. I don’t know how someone could do that to a child. A discussion before hand would have been a good idea. My girls from a young age always decided if they wanted their hair cut or just trimmed and what style.

She was only thinking of herself not the child. How much time it took away from her sleeping, how much the shapoo etc cost her and the rest. The child was not obsessed with her hair she just wanted it to look nice fgs!! YES you are the AH!!

I can understand where she was coming from but it was not her decision to make. She is a stepmother only. She should have discussed her thoughts with her partner, not just take it upon herself.

Sorry, but clearly the child did not want to cut her hair that short, there was alternative options for the hair oils, etc to save money and teaching her to comb her own hair, not having you do it. I had very long hair as a child and I wanted it cut short because it was too much for me to maintain when my mum couldnt plait my hair due to arthritis and I was really hopeless at it. Dad cried when he saw how short it was but so much better all round for the family and it was ultimately my choice.

Wow that’s a bit much. Maybe she should not have cut her hair shoulder length, but at the same time hair grows and it would be a lot more healthier.

No one should be forced to cut their hair. This was definitely overstepping the young girls boundaries, not to mention the parents.