Infertility struggles usually bring friends together, and for these besties, that’s exactly what happened. Until one took a joke the wrong way, and crushed her friend’s dreams of having a baby.
A 35-year-old woman has taken to reddit to ask whether she is an a**hole for what she did to her friend, Alessia.
“I am infertile, she explained. “My ex husband and I tried everything to have kids but it just never happened. He divorced me, went and married someone younger who was able to give him a kid and from what I gather, they’re expecting a second child together.
“It hurts like hell seeing someone else have what I couldn’t. I get frustrated with myself sometimes and with family blaming me for basically everything. I turn to my friends for support. Especially Alessia, she’s in the same ‘infertility boat’ as me but she and her husband are currently trying IVF hoping it’d work.”
“Alessia asked me for help to pay for her upcoming IVF cycle. I agreed to write her a cheque of $12,000. I really wanted to help her and the money came with no strings attached. I wrote the cheque and gave it to her last week. She was very appreciative of it.”
But the next day things turned sour, when she received a text from Carol, a mutual friend. Carol had a screenshot of a conversation she’d had with Alessia.
“Turns out she and Alessia were talking about the next IVF cycle, and Alessia said she hoped the cycle would work because she didn’t wanna end up divorced, and having her husband go marry someone younger and have a baby with them and another one on the way! While she’s alone and without a family at 35! (She’s 32).
“I was stunned and … hurt, I knew she meant me here. But I did not confront her I simply contacted my bank and cancelled the cheque. In the evening, Alessia called to ask why I cancelled the cheque and I told her.”
“She went batshit saying she didn’t mean it that way and that she thought that this was somewhat an ‘inside joke’ between ‘desperate infertile women’. She came over with her husband the next day begging I write another check but I refused.
“An argument ensued and her husband thought I wasn’t being supportive of her like when she supported me throughout my struggles. She left crying and we haven’t talked since then. Her husband keeps reminding me (while repeatedly calling Carol a toxic snake) of the date of the next cycle saying they can’t have it after I took the money that was supposed to pay for it back!”
While she says some of her friends think she’s being oversensitive to the joke, Carol is on her side.
“I feel so bad about it. What I’ve done might just damage our 15 years of friendship. Maybe I shouldn’t have cancelled it but I just felt so offended by what she said about me and how she basically mocked my unfortunate circumstances.”
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