A woman who had a baby as a result of an affair with a married man, says she’s not sure what to do, after his ex-wife reached out wanting their children to meet.

The 26-year-old says she had the affair with the 42-year-old some years ago, and maintains she didn’t know he was married when they first started seeing each other.

“I obviously looked him up on social media and while he did have photos of his kids on there, there was absolutely no mention or photos of a wife at all,” she explained.

“I found out that he was married about a month after we first got together, but he told me it was just a marriage on paper and that they basically lived separate lives and agreed to remain married for practical purposes until the kids were older. They owned a business, which she really ran and he was just financially involved in.”

While the woman says she knows she shouldn’t have believed him, she convinced herself he was telling the truth. Being in her early 20s, she says she was infatuated with him.

“He made me feel so good. I know now that I should have ended it immediately, but I didn’t realise what I was getting myself into. I was addicted to all of the attention he gave me, the great sex, the places he’d take me. I felt special. I was so naive.

“I got pregnant about a year into seeing him. I had always been so careful with preventing pregnancy, but during my relationship with him I took stupid risks. I was so high in lust with this guy, it’s embarrassing. The things he’d asked me to do…I’d say yes to almost anything, even when I knew it was a bad idea.

“I was in love with him, or I thought I was. I hadn’t intentionally wanted to get pregnant. I would of course dream about being his wife and having a family but I knew that wouldn’t be a possibility while he had this arrangement with his actual wife. I didn’t get pregnant on purpose with any intention of him leaving her for me, even if I wished that we could be a real, normal couple. I was surprised by how excited I was to be pregnant with his baby. I wanted that baby once I found out I was pregnant. The thought of carrying this baby of the man I loved was so special to me, but I knew he probably wouldn’t feel the same.

“I told him I was pregnant and he told me I couldn’t keep the baby. I expected his reaction, but I was devastated and it hurt me to my core that he didn’t feel the same way I did. He offered to pay, to make a whole weekend of it somewhere exciting (wtf?) and to buy me something special if I’d just please get rid of the baby. He explained that he didn’t want any more kids and that he couldn’t openly be a father to another kid when he and his wife were still pretending to be happily married to the outside world.”

She says she agreed to his plan, and was packed and ready for him to pick her up, but she backed out before he arrived.

“I started to feel really scared and really unsafe about the whole thing. I took my bag and checked myself into a hotel to hide because I couldn’t go with him. I texted him to say I promised to never contact him again and to never name him as the father or go after child support if he’d promise to leave me alone.

“At first he tried to sweet talk me into doing what he wanted. When I didn’t cave in, he said some very nasty things to me and that I essentially better never contact him again or show up at his door.”

She now has a two-year-old, and while it’s been difficult she’s kept her word and not named him as the father or requested child support. But now, his past is catching up with her.

“His wife contacted me on social media. Well, she’s his ex-wife now. She wants to talk to me. She found out about me and told me that she divorced him six months ago. She wants her children to know their sibling and for my child to know his siblings. That’s weird to me.

“I haven’t responded back to her yet. I am unsure about how to approach this. How to I respond to this? I wonder if I’m being selfish by not exploring an option for my child to know his siblings, if she’s being genuine about that. If I was married and my husband fathered a child outside of our marriage I don’t think I’d feel the same that she does.”

What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comments below. 

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