A dad-to-be says his wife’s pregnancy was destroying his sleep, so he now makes her sleep in another room. But when his mother-in-law found out, all hell broke loose.

He admits that the situation doesn’t look great on the surface, but says he wants people to hear him out, before making a judgement on whether he’s in the right or wrong.

“So my wife is five months pregnant,” he explained on reddit. “The pregnancy has been quite difficult for the both of us. She has hyperemesis gravidarum and it is extremely stressful on her. Hence she is not able to work even part time and I have to pick up most of the slack, I work full time from 8am to 7pm.”

‘Her twists and turns destroy my sleep’

The dad-to-be explained that for the past couple of months his wife has been plagued by pregnancy insomnia, as well as the usual pregnancy symptoms that interrupt sleep.

“There is a lot of twists and turns and getting up to go to the bathroom every few minutes. It absolutely destroys my sleep. I don’t want to sound like an asshole but I have to wake up early for work and because I am a sensitive sleeper I jolt awake easy with all the sudden movements.

“I had put up with it for a month till I decided I could not deal with it anymore. I was only getting five hours of sleep and being in the tech industry it is super hard to function with limited sleep. I had brought this up to her mildly and respectfully and she completely understood.”

He says his wife relocated to a spare room, and when her parents recently came to stay, they weren’t impressed.

“She had casually joked about how she sleeps in a different room. My MIL did not take this lightly and pulled me aside on why I have done this. I explained my defence and she said it is the least I could do to help her. It’s not like I can actively help her anyway with her sleep problems? We went back and forth for a while until my wife chimed in and said it is no bother and we should leave it be.

“I had a small argument with my wife after they left (for bringing it up in front of them) and I feel really guilty. We have made up, but it got me thinking if I am the asshole for really making her sleep in a separate room or if I am just looking out for my health?”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • Each to their own


  • It would have been much better if he slept in a separate room, this might have made his MIL happier because it would appear he was thinking of his wife’s sleep and not his own. It’s not always what you say or do but how you say or do things. How is he going to handle things when their baby is born?


  • Sometimes I wish I could sleep in the spare room when my husband legs get restless, but If I even suggested that, he’d shoot me down in flames and I’d be the worst person ever. In my opinion, what ever works is the right thing to do.


  • My other half is a snorer, tosses and turns and get be like a heat pack – sometimes we opt for separate beds just for a good night’s sleep.


  • I think the fact that the wife understood and agreed to sleep in the spare room of her own choosing makes it more okay. It’s more important that the couple have spoken about it themselves and are okay with it.


  • Anyone who has a partner that snores can relate.


  • Totally get this – when my hubby’s snoring gets too bad he gets the boot too. I few days a week I get up really early (5.30am) and I don’t need to have a disrupted sleep on top.


  • I can totally relate. I was that woman. However, my hubby moved to the spare room so he could get sleep. For all of the same reasons, he got up at 5am for work and didn’t want to disturb me. I had the same illness the entire 9 months of my pregnancy, and I tossed and turned like a whale, needing special pillows, etc. So my hubby, being the amazing man he is, let me have the Queen size bed, whilst he slept in a smaller bed in the spare room. I felt guilty, but it worked.


  • Does the spare room have an ensuite? Is there another bathroom in the house?
    Coz all I’m seeing is that HE could have moved into the spare room so when she wakes in the night to pee she doesn’t have to go so far! And if you have another bathroom he can have his shower and get ready in there!
    My husband often moves into the spare room when we have a baby sleeping in our room as he is prone to getting sick and coughs a lot. He chooses to give up the queen sized bed with ensuite for a single mattress on the floor.


  • I actually think this is pretty reasonable, especially if it’s a temporary solution. Probably easier for his wife, too, not worrying about disturbing him.


  • Whatever works for each couple. My in-laws sleep in separate rooms as one always wakes the other. If it works for you, go for it.


  • I think that’s really horrible. Not to mention your baby can tell you are there and builds the bond with the baby too having the partner so close they can sense them. My partner bought a new bed when I was pregnant to try and make me as comfortable as possible. They had to get up at 5.45 for work every morning. I got up many times to pee in the night, lots of rolling, and threw up most nights multiple times. Thankful they were so understanding.


  • Each to their own


  • I don’t see any problem with that at all and don’t understand the mother-in-law’s anger and interference. It’s awful when you’re trying to sleep and your partner is restless. If the wife is happy with this arrangement so be it.


  • No problem with the both of them …only problem is the MIL sticking her nose in.


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