In addition to my other comments below; people in these situations do tend to find out the ugly truth. It is often better to get the ugly truth out before someone else delivers it. Adding additional dishonesty to this situation is never going to produce a good outcome for all of the parties involved in it.

I would imagine the friendship and relationships were over when the dishonestly occurred. Everyone deserves honesty in all relationships. Respect for friends and for relationships is essentials and living by a code is essential. People do deserve to know the ugly truth and make their decisions and choices from that point.

This woman sounds like a very selfish individual. All I am hearing is me, me, me in the above article. How it might affect HER life. She has already had a termination before, so this is not a new thing for her. It shows very little respect for her friend who she has know for a massive chunk of her life. I think the only way forward is to do the right thing and stop thinking about herself. She needs to come clean, no she shouldn’t have a termination, and she needs to beg forgiveness and risk not receiving it. This baby didn’t ask to be created and if she was going to be a complete jerk to her friend, then she should have used protection.

Oh goodness. This is a tough way to learn a lesson.
No matter what you do regarding the baby you have to understand that your “friendship” is over. You stopped being her friend when you got physically involved with her partner. It doesnt matter if she was with him at the time or not.
As far as the baby is concerned YOU need to decide if you really want this baby. If you do then its just tough luck to the guy if his world falls apart.
Sadly this is what we all need to think about before doing something like this. Is it going to be worth it if everyone finds out? If the answer is No then dont go there in the first place but I guess you have learnt this lesson now or will once your friend finds out.
Your “Friend” deserves better friends and a much better boyfriend.

Wow, 4 times is a bit much. I don’t want to sound harsh but if you really were her friend you wouldn’t have done this at all to her.
Also, the boyfriend doesn’t really seem to have the “feelings” he claimed to have for you seeing as he’s saying he will be there for the baby but didn’t mention having a relationship with you? Sounds like he was just there for fun…

she should not have done it in the first place its a major betrayal and she should have thought about that before getting into bed with him. I literally have no sympathy for people like this I’m sorry but I don’t the short answer is just don’t do it, woman have to stop being so nasty. if you dont want your friend to find out tell her both your friend and HER boyfriend that your pregnant but its someone else’s that you had a one night stand with from Tinder and have the baby or give it up for adoption, to make the situation better just terminate the pregnancy . It’s legal to do so and there are abortion clinics that are doing it legally. otherwise tell the truth and deal with the major consequences.

why have people stopped using condoms and contraceptive pills? I never used to make it a mans duty to bring condoms if I was going to be sexually active, I always had a box in my bedside drawer in my 20s before I got married just incase I get back with an ex or so. My mother made it a priority to keep myself and my sister on contraceptive pills as she doesn’t want us to have accident babies before we get married. once you are married then its okay to have children but when you aren’t and you have an accident then you are in big trouble especially financially.. in saying that, girls just don’t do shit like this to their friends its disgusting. but regardless of our advice on here people will still go do it and be irresonsible anyway.

Let’s face it this is a horrible set of circumstances to bring a new life into the world but it’s not the worst! None of this should influence your decision to keep or not. You have to ask yourself the more important stuff. Are you financially able and prepared emotionally to consistently care for and raise a child? Relationships and friendships are fleeting. And frankly both are already trashed, so own it and let it go, let the truth set you free. And do what’s right for you prevail.

I agree what’s done is done and you can’t turn that back. You and your girlfriends’ boyfriend have made this choice and now you have to deal with the consequences of that. And these consequences will impact many other people as well. We can’t advice you what you should do or not do as we’re all different and we differ in norms and values. Personally I would be open with your girl friend too no matter you keep the baby or not. Another option beside termination or keeping the baby would be giving it up for adoption.

Firstly, there’s far too much mum guilt in the world. No shaming here. That said, things have a way of coming out. If I were in your friend’s position, I would walk away and cut ties. Block both of you on all socials and comms, seek legal advice to ensure a fair and prompt financial outcome and move on with my life. Emotions aside, those would be my actions, so regardless of your choices I wouldn’t be part of the journey for good or bad.

From what you’ve said, the father has shown commitment to the baby if you continue but not to you. I guess what I am saying is I would propose you make the decisions based on your baby’s, child’s and you well-being and stability. For me I would flip my life to make it work but I am an overcommitter, absolutely love the chaos of kids and would be excited to establish the siblings dynamic.

Can I please say, you have already lost your friend, she will NEVER trust you again and the boyfriend will only cheat on you if you saddle yourself to him. Leave and have the baby but don’t ever expect that you can keep your friendship

Hi
Now what you did, you did. This is done. It cannot be changed. I am not wise but I would like to share what I feel.
I think your friend should know what you and her boyfriend been doing so tell the boyfriend that you are going to tell her and it’s your friend decision whether she would like to continue with your friendship since she is the one who feels betrayed.
Don’t worry about boyfriend, if he is real man he would take any punishment from the girl.
Tell me if you were not pregnant, would you tell the truth to your friend? Or keep hiding it your life. Don’t take your friend’s trust as she is dumb. She would know sooner or later about it then it will be more worse.
Keeping the baby is depends on how will you raise him, like mentally, physically and financially support as you may going to lose your friends. There will be no such questions about how you gonna make more babies or how would you gonna be in relationship or friendship.
The man who made you pregnant has to be with you because he has some feelings for you. Yes, he did wrong with his girlfriend but to make it right he has to tell her truth and accept you and your decision. If he goes blah blah then believe me you and your friend, both deserve better than him.
No decision is easy but you have to ask questions yourself and always try to be strong to face the situation. Some decisions may make you feel alone but you would happy to know that these decisions are taken by many people.
So best of luck and never regret.

Once is bad enough ..four times is just unspeakable.
You need to seek out counselling.

If you keep the baby are you prepared to lose friendships over it? Obviously it did not worry you while you were fooling around with your friends boyfriend. It’s only now that you are pregnant it’s dawned on you how many lives could be changed because of what you both did. Your friends boyfriend doesn’t deserve to be let off either as he did the wrong thing too. What a mess you and your best friends boyfriend have made for yourselves.

Raising a child is not a 50/50 decision. It is ALL in 24/7/52. You should have no illusions about this. As for termination, this is a decision only YOU can make, do NOT be influenced by others.
And to the consequences of both yours AND his actions … Own the decisions you have made both jointly AND individually and learn to live with the resultant consequences that come from it all. As they say, don’t do the “C” if you can’t do the “T”. Suc it up and own it.

Big yikes. But the friend absolutely deserves to know that two people she trusts and respects are completely undeserving of her. Once is a disgusting breach of trust, 4 times is scorched earth level of anger. She shouldn’t expect a cheater of a man to step up. If she wants the baby, and should go ahead alone.

Only you can decide if you will terminate or not. Clucky feelings aside, you need to think hard about having to raise 2 children by yourself and lose all your friends (including your best friend). 1 child can be challenging, 2 isn’t just twice as hard, it’s so much more and doing it alone, so much more than challenging.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Everyone makes mistakes some worse than others. What’s done has been done. You can choose to keep the child and put a stop with the man as he didn’t want “things ruined” anyways. He’s not going to be involved. If he really does one day, he will need to do it secretly. Trust yourself and choose wisely whether to have the child not because anything is at stake, it should be because of your wish, on this life. The ball is at your court now. I’d say make the father a mystery so nothing is ruined and definitely stay away from the man who can’t take responsibility of his own actions.

I’m sorry but I have no sympathy for you whatsoever! In this day and age there’s no excuse to accidentally fall pregnant. Plus, I don’t think this guy is worth losing your friendship with your bestie as I think he’ll do it again and again with others. If you really thought about your friend you wouldn’t have done this in the first place. And losing friends is another show of how Karma comes back to you. Please don’t have this baby!! You really aren’t fit for it. Leave the guy alone and concentrate on your child you have already.

What a terrible position to have found yourself in. Not just yourself but for him and his partner and everyone else that would be involved as a result of the consequences. It’s a hard thing to go through but ultimately you need to decide to terminate on your terms not because it makes it complicated for those around as you might regret it.