'I Want To Ban My Friend's Destructive Five-Year-Old From My House'

It’s one thing when your own children misbehave, but when your friends’ little ones lash out, and damage your home – it’s a whole other ball game.

A frustrated woman says she’s considering banning her friend’s five-year-old son from her house, after he kicked a hole in her wall. She says it was the last straw, after a watching him self-destruct many times. She says she doesn’t think his own mother can control him, so why should she have to put up with his behaviour.

“There are no special needs involved. He is brat and acts out destroying things and attacking people to get his own way,” the woman explained on Mumsnet. “She says ‘no’ he goes on a 30-45 minute rampage which ends in him doing something like smashing a TV, phone screen or head butting someone on the nose causing a nose bleed etc etc.

“She then gives in and he gets what he wants and he INSTANTLY snaps out of the tantrum until he hears the word ‘no’ again and then it is a repeat. Would it be mean to ban a just turned five-year-old from my house? I find his behaviour unbearable and absolutely detest spending anytime with him.”

Do you think she’s justified in banning this little boy from her home? Let us know in the comments below.

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39 Comments

- - wonderful_weeks said
  - 02 May 2023
    12:05 am
It’s fair not wanting the child at your house. But i think the mother needs help with her child and i don’t believe at 5 he is just being a brat. Just because he isn’t diagnosed with any special needs it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something. His behaviours sound a lot like my 3 year old but more extreme. My 3 year old has ADHD and has zero control over his emotions and lashes out with violence and aggression. When he’s old enough he will also get diagnosed with ODD. Anxiety can also show signs of anger. Perhaps you could recommend your friend to seek out help from a Paediatrician, and if that hasn’t helped then she needs a different Paediatrician.

- - mom400215 said
  - 29 Jun 2022
    10:00 pm
Don’t invite them around take all your catch ups out somewhere in public then no stress for you

- - mom466087 said
  - 31 Mar 2022
    10:59 pm
I would be open and talk to the kids mum

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 14 Mar 2022
    8:16 pm
There are some people or kids who are not welcome at our home.less stress for us

- - sharna_booth_weinrowski said
  - 08 Mar 2022
    8:34 am
Best to find neutral grounds me thinks!

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 01 Mar 2022
    12:13 am
We had a similar situation and subsequently spent catch ups at a play centre or at the park.

- - mum300445 said
  - 27 Feb 2022
    10:04 am
Sounds like a nightmare. Sadly I’d just probably not invite then to mine again and instead meet in a park or something.

- - mumof3 said
  - 26 Feb 2022
    5:03 pm
No one should have to put up with that. So yes, although it’s hard because he is so young, I would probably do the same thing.

- - tessie said
  - 26 Feb 2022
    2:53 pm
Yes you definitely have every right to ban anyone who misbehaves in your home. I’d send his parents a bill for the damage he’s done and let her know he’s no longer welcome. If you still want to spend time with your friend, suggest other places to meet up, possibly a park that’s easy for both of you to get to.

- - mom223151 said
  - 26 Feb 2022
    1:28 am
She has every right to do so. Children if taught manners, respect and morals and having boundaries set, will not be destructive and misbehave. I was brought up by very strict parents and I am so grateful for the qualities they instilled in me. I have the uttermost respect for older people, I treasure other peoples possessions and no what is right from wrong.

- - snazzy007 said
  - 25 Feb 2022
    9:05 pm
This is a very sticky subject, if close to you can be open with mum

- - Mum2904 said
  - 25 Feb 2022
    5:49 pm
Maybe play dates at a park instead

- - mom160270 said
  - 25 Feb 2022
    3:30 pm
I’d arrange play dates in a nearby park.

- - mumma said
  - 25 Feb 2022
    3:28 pm
Find neutral ground for any further Olay dates. I see anyway you approach this, the mum friend will take offence.
However if she does, would it be any loss? His behaviour my go on all his childhood.

- - smart_ass said
  - 25 Feb 2022
    2:26 pm
I think you’d be best to have catch up’s perhaps in the backyard or local park. this way you an still have your friendship/their kids over without any pressure