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What would you say if your husband suggested you named your first baby after his ex-girlfriend?This dad-to-be says he can’t see anything wrong with the idea, but his wife has a different view.

The 34-year-old father-to-be says he and his 31-year-old wife are expecting their first baby in 12 weeks. And while they don’t know the gender, they are tossing around baby name ideas.

“A couple of nights ago we were suggesting names,” he explained on reddit. “I had a girlfriend for around six years before meeting my now wife. Unfortunately she passed away and I was absolutely devastated.

“It’s still painful to think about and I always imagined naming a child in her memory. I also just love the name itself (Nancy).”

But when he suggested ‘Nancy’ as the name for their baby, his wife wasn’t keen.

“When I made the suggestion to my wife she seemed unimpressed. She told me she didn’t really feel comfortable with doing that. She felt it was strange and didn’t make sense as Nancy had been my girlfriend.”

But the dad-to-be says he has his reasons for wanting to keep the memory of his ex-girlfriend alive.

“The way I see it is that Nancy was very important to me for a really long time. She was my best friend and losing her was just a terrible thing. I feel as though it would be a great way to remember and honour a dear friend who I miss everyday.

“My wife doesn’t share my views and honestly its caused a lot of issues. I dropped it and said it was important we both agreed on the name but she’s still insisting it’s strange and she doesn’t understand why I suggested it. I don’t know if she feels insecure or maybe the pregnancy is stressing her but she just won’t drop it. I honestly don’t see the issue whatsoever. Am I the a**hole?”

Let us know what you think in the comments below.

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  • I think is a beautiful gesture to remember someone that you loved and passed away. The new partner might be a bit insecure. I don’t see anything wrong.

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  • I would say your wife would feel second best right now. Honor your ex-girlfriend by naming a star not your child with your wife and her first baby. Different if it was a sibling but your past lover that you clearly loved very much and probably still do. I’ve been married 40 years and very open minded and never make comments, but this one I had too. Don’t you think asking your wife to remember your ex for the rest of her life is a bit much to ask?

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  • Sorry don’t agree
    I know someone who done just that but was female
    She honoured a promise to herself that she if ever had another child that child would have that name
    This child is now an adult and has full knowledge of how they received their first name
    His family is so welcoming to all her children and don’t favour one over the other
    In this instances it has shown that there is gain in the face of there lose
    All parties involved have great love and respect for each other

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  • The more I think about it, the more I find this insensitive towards his wife.

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  • I see why he would want to but I think given he’s in a new relationship it’s not appropriate.

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  • Perhaps as a middle name. That might be the compromise. Too hard on both of them otherwise.

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  • I understand his feelings and reasons for wanting to do so. But my thoughts are: has he let go of that relationship, and how strong are his feelings towards the deceased now.
    Its best to leave the past and his memories in the past, and cherish the birth of his newborn as a new beginning.

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  • I understand his feelings, but this is truly a bit weird. He should accept that his wife has a point and find another way to honor his ex.

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  • I would definitely say no, don’t do this. Having been named after someone without consultation of the mother, I never knew my real name until I went to school. Don’t put your daughter through this trauma, please.

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  • I can see where the dad is coming from but I wouldn’t have been happy if I was his partner.

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  • While I can understand the dad wanted to honour a friend/girlfriend I can also understand why the mum doesnt want to. I think in this case the name needs to be something they BOTH love.

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  • I can understand the wife feels uncomfortable and maybe hurt by the husband’s suggestion

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  • Reading the full story I think it’s a lovely thought but a lot to be expected if the mother doesn’t want to. There are other ways to commemorate his lost love.

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  • Wow! Dad should not of suggested that at all. Pregnancy is hard enough without partners making comments or suggestions to deepen those moments of self doubt.
    Definitely wouldn’t be impressed nor agreeing to name my baby that.

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  • Thats a tough one. I think its beautiful wanting to honor the memory of someone who was so special to you. But given its both your child, and not only would it be a reminder of the ex to the wife, but Nancy wasn’t special in wife’s life. I think names need to be happily agreed on by both parents. Its an awkward one but i don’t think its going to happen for the husband.

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  • I can understand why your wife feels the way she does. I’m sure you didn’t think it through before you suggested it. How would you feel if your wife chose the name of an ex-boyfriend? Find some other way to honour your ex-girlfriend that won’t upset your wife. For your sake I hope she has a boy

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  • A definite no. Naming a baby after an ex and has passed away is not a good idea.


    • Focus should be on the current relationship and life.

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  • I don’t think you should name your potential daughter after you dead ex girlfriend. I understand honouring someone by using their name but it is not suitable in this situation.

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  • Um, I think it’s weird too. Do something else to acknowledge your ex that’s not related to your wife, your baby, etc. that would be a constant reminder. Can’t believe he can’t see what’s wrong with it. Flip it and suggest if they have a son, it can be named after his wife’s ex and see what he thinks.

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  • Nope definately a big no from me. It would throw up red flags if my husband even suggested it!

    Reply

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