It’s politeness 101 that you never point out a potato looking baby anywhere within earshot of the parents, and they deserved dressing down in the moment. I feel that excluding them from the first birthday is too far. Nuclear level. How has a year passed and its still an issue, was it never brought back up? Has she excluded them from seeing the baby the entire time? Time to move on.

No they had no right saying such a nasty thing.

They were wrong but she needs to let it go. I’m sure they’ve gotten the message and will think before they speak in future.

An ugly comment but not worth the energy of letting it impact on a wife and husband relationship.
Ugly comments are best left to evaporate and given no oxygen and energy.

• • 
  • • mom93821 replied
    • 27 Jun 2022 , 7:10 am

  ---

  The comment from the in-laws is petty.

All babies are beautiful! What a uncharitable comment by the in laws. However I don’t think this should be her hill to die on and she should move past it.

Inlaws!!! My husbands parents, uncles, and grandparents have a nasty habit of telling kids they look like the other side of the family if they think they’re ugly! They told me he looks like his dad, basically saying they don’t think he’s ugly, even though he fully looks like a mix of both..

Yes she should invite them but yes it is also ok to feel hurt by the comments.

That’s not a nice to thing say about anyone baby they are all beautiful and precious

• • 
  • • mom93821 replied
    • 27 Jun 2022 , 7:09 am

  ---

  It is a petty comment and best discarded!

While the comment should never have been made and was obviously very hurtful most babies are a little bit strange looking at birth and I’m sure there was no malicious intent. A year on its probably time to let it go and accept that while it was thoughtless and rude its probably time to let go of grudges… although I probably would’ve expected at least an apology..

• • 
  • • Ellen replied
    • 28 Jan 2022 , 9:48 am

  ---

  

  Yes I agree with you

That comment is hurtful but it was also meant to be said privately between the two of them. It’s doesn’t mean they don’t love your baby and I think they deserve another chance. As a mum it is only natural to want to protect our children but I don’t think they meant to hurt any of them by that comment and having family involved in your child’s life is important.

That comment was very hurtful and calling them out was the right thing to do. But I think she should let it go.

Some babies are funny looking, so are some people! Your husband may have looked the very same way when he was born? I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it, and this is probably one to forgive. If you are still experiencing trouble with them in a few months, then it is time to reassess.

This one is close to home, you see as a Pacific Islander, we have that saying, when you marry him/her, you marry the family/village and in this case, I know the in-laws will always be over at celebrations, birthdays, etc. If anything, I would pull that in law aside and have a word with them and just explain to them, how their words were offensive and I won’t tolerate that kind of behaviour. I’m sure at this stage, they would apologise and if they don’t? Their loss. Let them take their negative energy away, I would focus on positivity and light into my darling baby.

I would pick your battles. This, in my opinion is not one of them. Your baby will prove them all wrong with every day of growth and you meanwhile can avoid any unpleasantness on your part. Everyone has their own opinion, talking about your baby and how it looks is very hurtful and so rude, they obviously forgot that some of the bubs genes come from themselves.

You could always let them know that you heard their comment by putting on the invite ‘You are invited to your “Funny Looking” Grandson/Nephews birthday’ No seriously, don’t let other peoples hurtful comments cause you anguish. I’ve heard lots of people say things like that about newborn babies & most of the time they are oblivious to how it can effect others.