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We all think that our babies are the most beautiful little beings ever, but what happens when someone calls a baby ‘funny looking’? Should they be forgiven?

One couple has butted heads over an issue that happened when their baby was a newborn, “Three weeks after giving birth, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to see my son at my house. They both offered to do some housework, to help my husband and me. They were both in the kitchen when I went downstairs to get something. I heard my sister-in-law say “the baby … isn’t he funny looking?” my mother-in-law laughed and told my sister-in-law to save that conversation for another time.”

The hurt new mum is upset that her in-laws called her baby ugly, “We all know that “funny looking” is code for “ugly” so I was supremely angry. When I called them out for what they were saying, they excused themselves by saying it was an innocent comment and that they weren’t being serious when they said that.”

Fast forward almost a year later, and the new mum is still upset, “My son’s 1st birthday is next weekend and I invited most of our relatives except my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.”

Her husband isn’t happy that she’s leaving them out, “When my husband asked me why I didn’t want his mother and sister there, I reminded him of what they said about our son the first time they met him, and I told him that I still can’t get over their comments (mostly because they haven’t even apologise or something similar).”

“My husband is mad at me now because I refuse to have them at the party. He says that everyone makes comments about the appearance of babies and that his mother and sister did not want to hurt me by what they said. He says I’m being unreasonable for not forgiving my mother-in-law and sister-in-law for something they said a year ago,” she shared.

While some commenters on the post on reddit agree with the new mum and understand her anger, the majority think she needs to get over it, with one saying, “All babies look like angry potatoes.”

Do you think she should invite them?

  • Invite them to keep peace with your husband but at the same time let them know you heard what they said. See if they apologise and if they don’t be the bigger person but let them know how much they hurt you. Enjoy the day with your son and just ignore them on the day. Your in-laws are not worth a fight with your husband.

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  • Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Just because you like something, someone else my not. In my experience, hurtful comments should be kept to yourselves, but you can’t control what others say, only how you react to it.

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  • A hurtful comment, yes, but not said to the the mum directly. Invite them, for the husbands sake, and confront them – tell them you overheard them and see if an apology and/or explanation is forthcoming.

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  • Whilst I agree she has a right to be upset, I think she still needs to invite them. You can still be unhappy with their comment but they and your kid need to see each other and it was overheard not said to you directly.

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  • Still invite. important fr the kids to have relations with their extended family.

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  • They didn’t say it to her she overheard and in the scheme of things it wasn’t that awful a comment. Definitely should let it go for the husband’s sake.

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  • I would still invite them. It will only cause issues if you exclude them, not only for you, your husband and his family but for your son as well. This doesn’t mean you have to forgive them though


    • Forgiving might be a good step. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting though. You can still be hurt, but time should heal that.

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  • Unfortunately not a happy invite to give out but yes they should be there. Will cause more issues otherwise.

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  • I definitely think they should be invited. While the comment may not have been appropriate the impact of not inviting the in-laws to a big event like the child’s 1st birthday could be much more detrimental.

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  • I’m sure they regret being so unkind about your baby. Sometimes we need to forgive even if we don’t forget. I’d give them a second chance but that doesn’t give them free reign to be unkind to you.

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  • Why would anyone want to say anything negative about a baby? You’re just asking for trouble if you say something bad about a child to the parent

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  • I think you have taken that comment a little too seriously as the comment “funny looking” isn’t “ugly”. If you value your partner you have to think of his feelings & not to invite his Mum & sister isn’t the way to go. To be perfectly honest all newborn’s can be scrawny ugly ducklings but they change so quickly into cute chubby babies.

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  • Not a nice thing to say, but more importantly is your marriage worth keeping? If your husband wants his mother there and all the rest of your in-laws and family are going to be there, then you are treading a very dangerous path – to my mind, away from happiness rather than toward it. Mothers always seem to indulge their sons, so I personally wouldn’t try to come between them. Let bygones be bygones and get on with a happy life

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  • It’s not a nice thing to say but the mum is being petty by not inviting them to the baby’s birthday. A lot of baby’s are ugly when they are born lol

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  • Pretty rude to say something like that at the house of the family!

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