If you are in the mindset of trying to lose weight, I am sure you are imagining what life will be like when you hit your goal weight.

You imagine your ideal body that you are striving for and then in that distant reality you see lots of other things that you long for, but for many, they think that if I just reach that ‘perfect’ size, I’ll be set, everything will fall into place, everything else I want will happen. But only if I get to the perfect size.

OMG, the pressure. The pressure you are putting on yourself to lose weight.

It’s time to think about it another way…what if you have it backwards?  What if, you are really striving for, or looking for something that goes deeper than just losing weight?

Does this sound like you?

When you dream or imagine having a better body, what you often want is a better life, that if you lose weight, you will have it all.

But you are missing out on the things that bring you joy, happiness, pleasure and you tell yourself that when you lose weight, you will finally be able to have all those things – a better/new job, a more fashionable wardrobe, more fun, a better relationship etc. In reality, all these things are independent of the size of your body or how much you weigh, but you keep putting them off until you’re happy with your size? Why?

If you are trying to lose weight, ask yourself the following questions, even write down the answers in a notebook or diary, to get a sense of if you are doing it for the right reasons, not because you think being a size … will make your life heaps better.

1) What will be different in your life when you reach your target weight?

Do you have a clear vision, or goal of where you are going? It will be a lot easier to stay focused on the life you are creating and not just the number of kg’s you are trying to lose.

Once you have figured out what you want to be different in your life, it’s time to start introducing them NOW.

It might be that you are waiting to lose weight so that you are can do a Fun Run, or to sign up for a course you have always wanted to do, or to go on a holiday, or buy a dress you liked. Whatever it is you are waiting for, how could you go about bringing them into your life NOW?

Why don’t you give yourself permission to step out of your comfort zone and embark on your new adventure? Take a big leap and do something you have always wanted to do. Don’t let something like weight loss stop you. You might be surprised at the change in your mind shift and the weight loss that follows once you do these things.

By bringing in more of the things you want into the here and now, not only will you take some of the pressure off losing weight, you will be more energised, focused and unstoppable to those things you want more of.

2) How do you want to feel when you get there?

So once you have established how you want to feel when you reach your goal, you can start by consciously making the decision to infuse more of these feelings of success and achievement into your journey toward that point.

You will never feel like you have arrived at your goal unless you have a clear picture of what it looks and feels like – it’s the truth.

The desire and longing to lose weight is often a yearning for something much deeper than actually losing the weight. In order to really be successful, you have to identify exactly what you are looking for, what you are longing for.

It might be that you are trying to lose weight so you feel sexier and more confident in yourself. Whatever it is, you need to get in touch with those feelings you want to experience and find ways to stir up more of those feelings in your everyday life.

I know I have said this A LOT, but it is important. Take some time out for yourself, have a nice relaxing bath, or dig out those heels or a dress and lipstick, or even get your hair and nails done.

Do whatever it takes to fill your life with more of the ‘feel good’ feelings you have been longing to feel.

When you start filling your life with more of these great feelings and more of what you want, you may notice that it will become easier to reach your weight loss goals after all.

It’s time to let go of the belief that losing weight is going to give you the life you have been dreaming of. When you don’t have a clear idea of what you really are wanting or striving for, your weight loss attempts will most likely end in tears or dissatisfaction when you actually reach your goal and you notice that nothing in your life has actually changed but your size.

Losing weight and bettering ourselves can be a wonderful & beautiful thing, but if you don’t know where you’re headed, you will never find happiness in a ‘number’ on the scales.

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  • I have lost 16kg so far and hope to drop around another 10kg. I did this because I have blood pressure issues and my kids have already lost a father and they dont want their mum to go also. So health reasons but the bonus is that i look better in my clothes and I feel better about myself.


  • i think i wanted to lose weight to fit into the clothes i had pre-kids. But even though I’m not much bigger my body has changed. I’m definitely bigger around the rib cage and boobs but not so much bigger around the backside and thighs (which is the place where i put on weight. So last weekend i went through my wardrobe and got rid of things that i can’t fit into now. There are a few aspirational pieces left, but i think i’m happier now that i have accepted my body is different.


  • I really like this article I’m trying so hard to loose weight to it has really hit home why I’m tryinv to loose it and how I can take the pressure of myself might just help me to drop it thankyou


  • Have actively changed my lifestyle and still unable to lose weight! 45mins-1hr cardio a day and 15-20 circuit training plus being careful with what I eat and drink. Dr’s have done checks, really disheartening when I have been so healthy lately


  • After putting on a lot of weight quickly due to personal neglect, I then had to lose weight for medical reasons. I didn’t diet, I didn’t visit nutritionists, I didn’t join a gym or take up exercising, I didn’t have surgery. I already knew right from wrong. I decided it was time I focused on me and show myself a bit of respect. A ‘mind set change’ that placed my focus on me, ensured I lost over 20 kgs in 3 months.


  • Very important to feel good about yourself, your life and what makes you happy. Outward appearance is just a small part. Inner beauty and a healthy self-esteem will make your outwards also more beautiful.


  • Good article. It is not an easy journey!


  • I have to lose hlf of my body size. The will power and head space is what i have to control. Im glad to bd reading this. Im going to start slower before becoming slow then a lil faster wiyhout stopping.


  • I just want to lose weight fir me. To be healthier, to help manage my arthritis, to set a good example to my kids. A few reasons really, I’m sure I will feel better for it


  • Good to know. Thanks for sharing.


  • Good to know! That’s interesting! Thanks for sharing this!


  • At the moment, I am just trying to stay at the same weight and not gain!


  • Great advice, it’s not an easy journey.


  • I’ve been trying to live weight for months now with no success. I used to think it was for me that I wanted to lose the excess. I’m beginning to realise it’s more what other people think of me that is motivating me. Maybe that’s why I’m not succeeding, I need to do it for me and only me


  • Great article. I have struggled with my weight for years now.


  • Healthy and happy regardless of shape or size.


  • I’ve learnt you need to love yourself and be in the right mind frame. You need to enjoy trying to lose weight else it will seem like a chore! Make excersise fun and just eat healthy foods no processed crap and you will feel much better just stick to it and it will become a daily habit


  • Thanks for the information! Definitely very useful!


  • I’ve found that I can never lose weight unless I am in the right headspace. Get that sorted and it becomes easier (not easy, just easier)


  • Great information, Thanks for sharing


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