“Cry if I want to; cry if I want to ..You would cry too if it happened to you”

Who remembers that song?  I remember it. This year it seems fitting that I can remember it and that I may just cry on my birthday. I am turning 40. SHOCK! I don’t want to be 40. I remember wanting to be 20.No more a TEEN. I remember wanting to be 30. It was suddenly like adult hood was a reality.

I don’t remember wanting to turn 40.

I hear all the time that the 40’s are the new 30’s, and that may well be true. My mind is still back in the 30’s. I want the last 10 years again because they seemed to just rush by without me being able to S.L.O.W.  them down.

My eldest turns 16 this year. When did I get old enough to have a 16 year old?

My middle child starts school. Where did the last 5 years go?

My youngest starts kindy.  When did he stop being a baby?

For the first time in a long time I am going to have free time on my hands. Pardon?

FREE time people!

It’s almost hard to fathom.

I admit feeling a little lost. CRAY CRAY thoughts I know. I should be rejoicing, shouting from the rooftops, running around the back yard and swinging from the hills hoist (secretly as to not promote that to the kids of course)

But first and foremost I am a Mummy and wife. It is like empty nest syndrome apart from the fact they haven’t left home yet. I need to re-focus and find out what I want to do.

So I will make a pledge.

I WILL make time for me

I WILL stop and smell the roses

I WILL try and slow down the next 10 years

I WILL turn 40 in all its glory, because after all NOT having a birthday is worse.