I wanted to share with you, something that a friend of mine does for her 6 kids (yes! 6 kids). She is an amazingly devoted mum and an inspiration and she shared with me that she keeps a journal for each of her kids for every time something noteworthy happens. She regularly writes it in their journal. From the moment they are born she uses this journal to give them a detailed outlook on what they were like growing up. Stuff that she’s not likely to remember when they have kids of their own. Stuff she can’t answer when they ask “mum, did I do ____when I was a baby?” or “what was I like as a 5year old?”
It’s kind of movie scene material when you think about it. I guess you never really know what your relationships are going to bring. How your kids are going to be as adults and what direction your life (or theirs) will take. Anything is possible. It’s quite inspiring to capture these things that happen right from the beginning and I decided I would do it for my two kids starting now. Writing a piece of history. Creating a legacy.
I have to say – remembering to jot stuff down is a bit of a disciplinary action – but once you get in the habit, it almost seems that every day you want to share something new with them. It doesn’t have to be a long love-letter story, just points that happen –as they happen- in a true sense of how they happen.
Many people have advised me to make the most of your kids when they are young – make the most of EVERY moment – because it goes so fast and will be gone before you know it. They’ll no longer want to smooch and cuddle with you. They’ll no longer want to tell you everything. They’ll no longer want to be seen in public with you. And as hard as that is for a mother to comprehend – it is human nature. We are there – as mums, lovingly nurturing, caring for and giving our kids the absolute best we can offer. To some of us – our kids are our WORLD! We cannot imagine the day when they move out or hook up with someone else to care for them or escape across the world to live out an adventure. At the moment I just see my 3 ½ year old and my 17month old pitter-pattering around our home living and loving and learning the hard way through life. Heaven help me when they don’t need me to be there for them anymore.
For me to capture a few little details of the NOW and be able to share it with them at some milestone in their life – whether it be their 18th birthday, graduation, 21st, engagement or wedding. It feels somehow hopeful that they will be able to re-live and appreciate the love and good times we had. And I will be able to look back in loving memory of how things passed me by.
OK, not all times are good. Please don’t think that this is a perfect household with magical fairies floating around sprinkling their happy dust everywhere. There are challenges – sometimes massive challenges and I can record those too – but the idea of my kids journal is to emphasise the good times and happy moments so that if ever they need reminding – it is there for them (straight from my heart).
I know that I myself have been at a place in my life (and alot of people I know can agree) that you look for someone to blame or something to blame from your childhood that is triggering bad experiences in your life. If you can overcome the negative and really level yourself to a deep sense of gratitude – then the whole world around you changes and it helps you in your journey.
If you have kids (which I assume you do, since you are part of the MOMs website) and you want to give them something that money can’t buy when they reach a milestone you’d like to celebrate – consider this. A kids journal. On the front – their name and date of birth. Inside – a diary format dated when you started, why you started, and what you can recall so far that they might like to know. Continue, noting each date you add something else. I can say nothing more than it is a magical thing. Writing your thoughts, feelings and perspective on a situation is therapeutic aswell. You never know – you could be talking to them when you are not there anymore. How touching would that be for them – if suddenly they lost their mum – they have this record of moments in time that no-one else can explain! That no-one can replace. That nothing can substitute.
A message from you to them.