Hello!

Something I have noticed about myself lately. Being a woman and a mum you spend a lot of your time giving. Children and partners want and need a lot of nurturing and attention. It is a primal instinct for us to give in this way. A part of who we are as women. Maternal. To be honest, we love it. It in a sense makes us feel complete. Needed.

As soon as we open our eyes in the morning there is something to be done for someone else.

Change your baby’s nappy. Get the morning bottle ready. Grab your partners work socks off the line. Open the fridge and start to organise breakfast, lunches and even dinner. All before 7am… whoa I could go on all day!

What I have discovered in myself lately is I am very good at giving. And I really enjoy it as well. It makes me feel in control. Organised. Independent. A good mum. A helpful friend.  It enables me to overall feel good about myself. Perfect.

Although there are two sides to every story aren’t there? Receiving. Now that is something I have discovered I am not good at all. Opposite to what I feel when giving is what I feel when receiving. When I am on the receiving end I feel almost uncomfortable. Out of my comfort zone and completely unable to take a compliment!

So I have spent some time lately really looking at this. Why do I find it so hard to receive?

Receiving somehow makes me feel like what I am doing isn’t good enough and that I need help. ‘Want me to vacuum the house for you?’ Instead of saying, Yes please that would be wonderful, somehow I hear, ‘Wow your house is dirty you need my help!’ So I say in response, ‘No that’s fine I’ll get to it later!’ Silly silly.

Giving & receiving are both the sharing of love. And I am allowed to be loved. And so is the person who is trying their hardest to give to you.

When you don’t receive well you are stopping the person giving to you receiving all the good feelings of giving. You are denying them the feeling that you love when you give. Not very fair.

So next time your partner comes home with fish and chips but you are already cooking dinner simply say thank you and be grateful.

Dinner is better eaten the next day anyway! When asked do you want anything from the shops from a friend say, yes please that will save me a trip later! When my mother in law asks if we would like her to babysit while we have a night out say, awesome thank you very much!

I would love to hear your stories about giving and receiving mums! Please share your comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • I’m the same. I get all defensive when someone offers me help. I’m all ” i didn’t ask for your help, if I needed your help, I would have asked.” I need to learn to say yes thank you

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  • Very true, when ever someone say do you need a hand with that or this all I think was “what you think I can’t handle it?”. So I would say “No thank you, I can do it myself”. Silly I know. Great article to read.

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  • yes, this is so true! it has taken me a while to realise this, but we mums cannot do everything ourselves. It is not a sign of weakness or failure if we ask for help or say “yes’ when it is offered. Great article!

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  • This is a great article. I am so proud that the 5 of my children all use their manners very well. I believe that it is your option by the way that you raise them.

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  • I agree and think pride can get in the way of accepting help, however having a tiny baby soon, I would happily let my mum or sister cook dinners to ensure I get enough rest.

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  • it s just great

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  • Manners are the best thing you can teach a child, along with that comes a respect for others.

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  • very true. thanks for sharing

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  • It’s so true sometimes you feel very deflated when someone doesn’t accept something that you want to give.

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  • I love giving I truly think our sole purpose in life is to give to our children :)

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  • This is so true.
    I guess that because we give so much and barely ever get a thank you or good job it is weird to hear.
    Also very hear offers of help so another reason why when we do hear it we question the real motive.

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  • I wanted to buy a bike, I was looking at secondhand, cheap bikes. My Husband said ‘No You deserve a brand new bike”. I love my new bike, and I love that every time I look at it I know that my Husband loves and values me.

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  • Great article. I am a bit like that, giving but not good at receiving. Its true you deprive others from giving if you refuse to receive! I will keep this in mind and say yes more often when others offer to help. I don’t have to do it all myself to be perfect all the time.

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  • Always nice to receive but I must admit I feel better when I give.

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  • I never ask for help as I don’t want to put anyone out by helping me. I would rather do things myself.

    Reply

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