Mum to be sparks debate after saying she would rather her husband and especially other men was NOT on the maternity ward overnight.

The mum posted on the forum mumsnet sharing her disgust at the idea of men staying overnight on the maternity ward, shared Daily Mail.

‘Booked in for ELCS for breech baby. Just going through this week’s post and find a letter from the hospital about what to do/not do prior to the op, what time to arrive etc,’ the username, Whatthefreakinwhatnow, posted.

‘At the back is a letter for my “support person”, with a list of dos and don’ts for their stay on the ward with me after my section.

‘Sorry, WTF?! I love DP dearly but not a chance do I want him or more importantly a load of other blokes on the ward,’ she wrote.

‘I was already going to discharge myself the following morning, but was realistic about staying a bit longer if needed – b***ocks to that I am definitely leaving as soon as my catheter is out and I can walk again!

‘Am I the only person who thinks this is really bloody unreasonable?!,’ the furious mum-to-be concluded.

She later elaborated upon the fact that while she is fine with men visiting, she doesn’t want men around when women need privacy in the evenings.

‘The letter clearly stipulates curtains have to be kept open so midwives can monitor you, so absolutely no privacy at all from all the random people on the ward,’ she wrote in a follow-up comment.


Since the Mumsnetter posted on the mother’s Internet forum on Sunday, she has received over 800 comments in response.

We recently shared the story of a mum who posted on Reddit asking if anyone has ever had their father-in-law present in the labour ward.  We also shared the story of women who wanted their dads present at childbirth.

I can totally understand her concerns if it is a shared ward.

I was in a private room with both my children and hubby stayed with me.  I would not have been without him, especially after the birth of our first son and we had a shock visit from the Paed at 1am with bad news. I was very thankful that hubby was with me.

Did your partner stay in the maternity unit with you?

Share your comments below.

Image shutterstock

  • 70+ years ago the Dads weren’t allowed to stay at all. They went home straight away. The Mums weren’t checked and sent home again either. I’ve heard stories from various relatives and friends whose elderly families who had been told the same thing. I doubt they lied. Many didn’t know each other. I don’t know how I feel about male midwives. In general surgery I found the male nurses were more understanding and much gentler when helping me onto the bed pan, in and out of bed. helping me to walk to the toilet when I was able to walking, and waited outside the door in case I needed help as I was still having balance problems. The female nurses were very rough when they had to help my physically and impatient. To be honest, I was glad when he came back on duty. He was very discreet too.


  • Yes i do want my partner there but as we have an 8 yr old he will probably have to leave.
    This womans stance seems a little neurotic to be honest, they are not randoms, they are people supporting a women who just gave birth, probably to their child.


  • I would want my husband there – but it does depend on whether you’re sharing a room, and how many people you’re saring with.


  • The state I was in after my first c section (if my baby wasn’t rushed into special care nursery) I would have loved my hubby to have been there! Why? Because I couldn’t do anything for myself, I couldn’t even get in or out of bed without help, I couldn’t walk to the bathroom, I needed all te help I could get. There is no way I would have been able to care for my little man without help


  • I believe you would want your partner around at this time!


  • I was in a shared room (4 beds) and visitors including partners were only in the room during visiting hours. I don’t think I would have felt comfortable if visitors had stayed in the room overnight.


  • My husband was with me all the time, and stayed during the night, but I was in a private room too. It’s indeed different if you are in a shared room.


  • I wish i could of had my husband with me. When our daughter was born 9 yrs ago i was having complications we lived four hours away from RWH and i was staying in a four bed room but i was the only one in there and he was not allowed to stay with me so he had to sleep in the car. I asked the nurse what happenes if i needes him for a reason to do with bub and they told me they would go down during the night to get him. I felt so alone and abandoned by the health system that i decided to leave as soon as possible.


  • This woman sounds like a mental case. Why shouldn’t the dad’s spend their first night with their new family too?

    • Each woman should have a choice, it is our right. Our support person should be whoever we want at this sacred time in our lives.


Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating