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Perth mother who has shared her son’s battle against cancer has admitted she wants him to die so he no longer has to live in pain.

Update 13 June 2017

Carrie Bickmore, 36, has penned a heartfelt tribute to Bede who sadly lost his battle with brain cancer.

In her Stellar column, she shared the her life changing meeting with the Darch family and four-year-old Bede and from Perth, Western Australia.

Carrie said she first met Bede and his family at their home when he was three-years-old and saw first hand the confronting side of caring for a terminally ill child as his parents, Issy and Roy, did.

“He was being fed intravenously at home, he was on 14 different drugs, and spent most of his day in a high level of discomfort.

Watching Bede’s mum, Issy, and dad, Roy, was a confronting crash course in caring for a terminally ill child.

The truth is I want my son to die, I want peace for him

“Issy was cautious about talking to the cameras, scarred from the reaction to a bravely honest blog post she wrote a few weeks earlier where she poured out her heart: The truth is I want my son to die. He is tired. I want peace for him, rest. Issy deserved support. Instead, she was met with misunderstanding and criticism.”

Bede passed away in May this year and his life left an indelible mark on Carrie.

‘I was forever changed by meeting Bede and his awe-inspiring family, and I truly believe their strength will save lives in the future,’ she said.

Carrie has been a driving force in raising awareness and funding for brain cancer research after her late husband lost his battle in 2010.

She has also set up Carries Beanies 4 Brain Cancer to help raise funds for research.

Previously on this story….

May 2016

Isabella and Roy Darch’s son Bede was diagnosed with a form of aggressive terminal brain cancer when he was just 16 weeks old. Now three, he has survived a gruelling chemotherapy.

In a blog post Isabella said Bede had been given just six months to live after tests showed the cancer was progressing.

Cut to the chase doc, she says. “How long?”
 “Well lets look at the scan first”
 “I just need to know”
“6 months. Unless the cancer spontaneously stops growing I think you have around another 6 months with Bede.”

“My heart is raw. Because the truth is I want my son to die. I’m tired. He is tired. I want peace for him, rest. But I instantly hate myself because I know then that is all there will be. He will have no more growth, no more moments tenderly reaching out to his brother, laying next to his sister. He wont squawk away at his dad anymore, he won’t let me kiss him in the way only I can.

bede 2 bede
He will just be gone. That is not enough for my special light filled boy. Life is hard but death seems worse.”

“All I want for Bede is happiness. I grieve that we don’t all get that.
 I am angry that we feel so alone.”

“My heart bleeds and I grieve. I am tired. My bones and muscles and every tendon and ligament ache.”

Friends have started a gofundme page to support Bede in having the best quality of life for whatever time he has left.

We wish them all the strength and love to help them through this horrible battle.

Share your comments below.

Images via Gofundme

  • My heart goes out to this little boy and his family. How heartbreaking for everyone.

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  • Such horrible battle indeed ! Wishing this family strength and courage to go through this and stand beside their precious Bede. May there be many many sweet moments !!

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  • The trauma on parents and relatives who know a child have very little quality of life is horrific. You don’t want your child to suffer when there is no future except pain and suffering. Chemotherapy is often a temporary respite especially for a little one whose little body can’t cope with the chemicals pumped into them.
    However sometimes it is successful. I know a toddler who had chemotherapy when he was diagnosed with a rare type of Leukemia. They only sought the Dr’s adivce because he was falling over and getting shocking bruises that simply weren’t disappearing. At one state the Dad told his family that if his son wasn’t going to recover he wished he would die in his sleep as the chemo made him so ill and he nearly choked on his own vomit a few times.

    Reply

  • No-one wants to see their loved one suffer especially their own child. I can understand your hurt & turmoil. Although it is hard, count each day as a blessing.

    Reply

  • My dearest lady,
    You are not alone. Although I have not walked your exact path, please know that I too, have felt the torment of wishing for an end to someone I loves pain, and the guilt that quickly followed. I wish you and your beautiful boy peace.

    Reply

  • Brings tears to my eyes. You are such a strong woman & don’t deserve to see your baby going through this pain.

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  • I have tears reading this. It’s truely heartbreaking.

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  • Life is so unfair. Poor little guy!

    Reply

  • What a horrible and unfair situation to have to go through. I can feel the despair and heartache in Isabella’s words.

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  • There would be nothing worse than watching your child go through something like this, knowing they’ll die. No parent should have to survive their children. The worst. :(

    Reply

  • What a heartbreaking situation. I pray for a miracle for bede and a quality life for his remaining months

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  • I can’t imagine what this Isabella and her family must be going through. My thoughts are with them :(

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  • Just 6 months? :-( It must be so painful for the family. And I understand completely what the mother is feeling. :-(

    Reply

  • What a hideous dilemma. I understand it.

    Reply

  • Bless them all – very sad that this disease exists at all. Very sad for this, and so many other families :(

    Reply

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