Is It Ok That I Don’t Trust My Inlaws To Watch My 3 Month Old?

The new mum shared, “My husband and I both work Saturday’s and my inlaws were going to watch our 3-month old which I have always been nervous about.

“They are extremely naive and my mother-in-law has no maternal instincts.

“I put my foot down when we found that they had received a used and expired carseat and base that they were planning to use.

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“When my husband said no my father-in-law argued they only put expirations on them so people buy new.

“I also told my MIL to not set my daughter on her tummy because she just got all her vaccinations on her legs the day before and was sore. I went into the kitchen to make a bottle, came out and she was on her tummy! They don’t even support her head!

“Am I over reacting or should I follow my gut?”

MoM’s have advised the new mum to follow her gut instinct and stick to her guns.

What would you do?

Share your comments below

  • I guess when they raised the husband things weren’t as strict as they are today. We understand a lot more now days so I can understand their point of view. Perhaps they just need some education of the updated standards rather than berating them.


  • I always say ‘go with your gut’. When I haven’t, it has been a reminder to go with what I feel and know best when it comes to my child.


  • No you’re not overreacting. When you feel you can’t trust them, take you feelings serious and do something with it. Talk to your husband to begin with, talk to your in laws together as couple and speak out your expectations or plainly no longer ask them to look after your bubs.


  • Well they raised your husband and he must be fine….


  • If you dont trust them then dont do it or you will spend the whole time worried and wondering what’s happening. Have them over instead to play with the kids when you are at home and around so they dont feel left out.


  • If that is their opinion of expired babyseats, my baby would not leave my house with them. It may not even anchor in the car properly. Babies need tummy time but not until they are old enough and certainly when they have a sore leg/s. No, you are not being over-protective. Sounds like your husband doesn’t think so either,


  • Trust your gut. Your child’s safety comes first and you’ll be constantly worried about her if you leave her with the in-laws. Even your husband isn’t happy about them looking after her.


  • Long story short if you don’t trust them, don’t leave your kids with them. If you don’t like what they’re doing with your child then make alternate arrangements. Complaining but then leaving your baby with them is a recipe for disaster.


  • I’m a first time to my now two and a half year old little girl, who is very much in two minds on if they are completely wrong.
    I guess some would think I’m lucky as my in laws passed away many years ago so I don’t have them second guessing me, but we do still have a large number of my grandmother’s sister’s in our lives as well as dads aunts, uncles and his pop (My daughter’s great grandfather).
    They all have their stories of how things were way back when, how parenting now is so ‘different’ and how they believe things should be done because ‘I did it and my kids are fine’.
    I’m torn because sometimes I look at how mum’s are told the modern way is better but its so much more complex when you can achieve the same result by doing it the old way and you haven’t confused your child nor tired yourself out trying to do the simplest of tasks.
    I also believe that we now have a better understanding of our child’s emotions and how they are affected by their surroundings at a much younger age then what they knew back then, we now attended to them maybe more then we should where as maybe looking back I think we came out more independent with the ability to entertain ourselves if we needed to.

    I’m not saying your wrong in how you feel, nor am I saying your in laws are wrong. I think that as much as there is a much better understanding now of our kids and how to raise them, the older generations ways can still be incorporated. When ever I have a problem with my daughter I get the current ideas from doctors or mum sites, but I also end up calling one or two of the family to see what they did or what they think I could do I might not do it but I have another option and that family member feels like I’ve included them giving them a bigger sense of being closer to my daughter.
    You may not agree with their way of doing things but as it was said, when they had kids it was a different time, they where told one way was the best for their child where as now they aren’t getting all the update on how to look after a baby you have all the new info, so maybe you should share without making them feel out of place.
    Above all, they couldn’t have done to bad a job with raising their children because you now have a child with their son.

    Hope that helped, kinda turned into a bit of a long one.


  • I agree with you. This is your Baby and your Parents need to follow your rules and advice. They had their turn at bringing up their kids in a different era. We have newer products available to us with technology so advanced so we use that. Remind them there was a day we drove around with babies in the car in bassinets placed on the floor. No seat belts at all. Not many cars on the road then. Now we have faster cars, many more and we take safety so seriously. No go with your gut!


  • I definitely don’t think your overreacting. Go with your gut!


  • Do you have anyone else who can look after the baby ?a friend maybe ?


  • Mother knows best. Mother’s have strong instinct for a reason, to nurture and care for their young. Find someone else to look after baby or shift your work schedule or give work up. It is not worth the extra money if something happens to your baby. Protect the best way you know how.


  • I’d be going to plan 2 as you will be worried all the time otherwise.


  • Follow your gut


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