Having the right support people in the delivery room when giving birth can be the difference between a positive birth experience and a traumatic one. But what happens when the two support people don’t get along?

A woman has revealed how her bestie wanted her by her side at the birth of her child – but there was a catch. The expecting mum’s husband wasn’t so happy with the arrangement.

The 23-year-old woman says her best friend ‘T’, 22, gave birth a week ago, and all hell broke loose.

“T has a husband, K, who I have never gotten along with,” the woman explained. “When I first met him he didn’t like me very much. He was rude a snappy and honestly I was too so our relationship never really got past the enemy stage.

“Well a couple weeks ago my best friend asks me to be one of the people in the delivery room with her since we have known other since the 2nd grade. Of course I accepted.

“So fast forward to the day T’s water broke. Me and her were already somewhat close to the hospital since a lot of the food places we got to are only 10 minutes away. So we get to the hospital and K is already on the way. K arrives and immediately scowls at me asking, ‘What the f**k is she doing here’. I just ignored him and focused on T.

“Well soon enough is was time. T went into labour but instead of grabbing K’s hand for support T grabbed mine. K was obviously upset about this and told me to leave the delivery room and wait outside. I was about to go outside when T grabbed my hand and told me to stay. So I stayed. K got so mad he ended up leaving the hospital all together.

“I stayed with T until she was released from the hospital and she asked me to move in with her for moral support. K and T live separately is because K did not want to move into T’s house for reasons unknown. I know for a fact that T does not want to sell her house because it was passed on to her by her grandparents.

“So I moved in. K found this out and has been telling his friends that I was trying to take his role as the babies father. T’s was getting hateful texts for K saying how I should butt off of their lives now. T has had enough and ended up saying, ‘If you can’t respect my best friend then don’t come and visit’. I feel really bad. I’m not trying to drive them apart I am only trying to support my best friend. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think this supportive bestie should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • I definitely DO NOT THINK YOU are the problem here.. I’m the slightest.
    Communication/ respect/ boundaries and rational thinking and control of emotions do not seem to be present here at all.

    A tough place for you to be in for sure.


  • Your friend will be very glad after the divorce hehe


  • This is so odd…


  • Sounds like a complicated situation. I can understand wanting more help in the delivery room and needs your BFF as well as hubby but confused why hubby isn’t living with the wife when she’s bringing home a newborn. You need all the help you can have in the initial stages. I think some therapy maybe needed?


  • I can’t see this marriage lasting very long at all. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in the middle of it either.

    • Yes, it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. But to be honest, my husband would be offended too when I would have chosen a friend above him by the birth of our child too


  • No I don’t think you’re in the wrong. If your best friend has chosen your support over her husbands theres obviously a reason for it. Sounds like she needs support that she’s not getting from her husband and you are just being the friend she needs right now.


  • I cant comment without more information, they are married but dont live together, hubby wont move into her house so what was he going to do when bub arrived and support would be needed round the clock? its all a bit strange and sounds like a group discussion is needed possibly with a mediator.


  • I think you did the right thing. He doesn’t seem like a very good husband if he doesn’t live with her. It sounds to me like he wants to control her. She needs you even more now than before. Maybe he doesn’t want you there because he won’t be able to get his way all the time. Just remember, she needs you and she asked you to stay with her so be her best friend and stay.


  • I’m not sure of the full extent of the relationship with the father of the baby. He doesn’t seem to like the best friend at all. I’m a bit torn on this one without all of the information.


  • 3 is a crowd, grow up and leave the new family olone, the baby didnt ask to be brought into this world, the parents did that not you. A “real” friend would understand that. You have already overstepped your mark causing damage to a new life, thats enough damage, move on, you had your chance and missed the boat. Get your own partner and baby chump.


  • 3 is a crowd, its their baby you should have enough sence to realise your place and leave, grow up and put the parents and the baby first. The baby never asked to be born the parents did that, not you.

    • I agree, she should have stepped back and not come between husband and wife


  • Are you just assuming that the poster is a woman? Because it reads a bit like it’s a male, and that could have an impact. I think the Mum should have had the right to choose who she had around, but she should have discussed it with her husband before the birth.

    • Yes I think it’s a woman as it says “A woman has revealed how her bestie wanted HER by her side at the birth of her child”. But would certainly make it more awkward when it would be a male


  • I get that the expectant mums wishes should be paramount, but dad should have a say too. I think the bff has overstepped and probably hasn’t helped the relationship with the husband.


  • It sounds like they need to talk a lot more and it’s not a strong relationship. Sounds like the friend might be a man but doesn’t say. That may make it more awkward.

    • It says “A woman has revealed how her bestie wanted HER by her side at the birth of her child”, so I don’t think it’s a male


  • This sounds like a terrible and very awkward situation to be in but in the end she has the right to have whoever she wants in the room
    With her.


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