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Article ‘My Mother-In-Law Fat-Shamed Me After Giving Birth’

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A first-time mum says she feels like an a**hole, because she no longer wants to see her mother-in-law after being ridiculed about her weight.

The 26-year-old welcomed her first baby with her 26-year-old husband a few months ago, and says the couple are ‘so in love’ with their little one.

She explained that her family have been amazing, bringing the couple dinners, taking care of the baby so they can rest and helping them adjust to life as parents.

“My husband’s family is different from mine in a lot of ways,” the mum confessed.

“They didn’t want to visit us and only wanted us to come to them (they live about 20 minutes away) and didn’t really care to offer much for support following the birth. We were fine with it and brought our baby over when we were able to – around three times a month.”

About four weeks after giving birth, the new mum says her mother-in-law began making snide comments about her weight.

“She began commenting about how much she prioritised ‘losing the baby weight’ after she had her first baby. At first I didn’t think anything of it, I thought she was just voicing her experience as many people do when they are around babies.

“She then started commenting on my baby’s chubby cheeks, and how similar they are to mine. I felt a bit hurt but let it slide once again.”

“The final straw was when my husband was talking to her casually about my wanting to start going on runs again and how we were planning on making it work since our baby is very attached to me. She very loudly said, ‘You’re thinking about trying to run? Shouldn’t you start with walking?’ His whole family was in the room and looked at me waiting for my answer. I am an avid runner who only stopped due to my pregnancy, and her comment really hurt.”

The mum says she’s particularly sensitive to comments about her weight, after battling an eating disorder in her teens.

“Comments on my body or physical abilities are hurtful to hear, and she is someone who I knew talked about peoples bodies behind their backs, but I didn’t think she would be so mean to my face. I am not skinny by any means, but live a healthy and active lifestyle so weight should not be my concern.”

The whole situation has forced the mum to consider cutting her mother-in-law out of her life.

“This is where I feel like the a**hole. I don’t want to see her anymore. She makes me feel like crap about myself and my husband is backing me up 100%.

“His mum is angry because she thinks we are just keeping her grandchild away from her and believes it is unfair. He goes there without me but it is difficult to take our baby because she is exclusively breastfed and refuses bottles of any kind.”

What are your thoughts? Offer your advice for this mum in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • That is so rude and definitely not needed in the vulnerable time after giving birth.

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  • I’m glad that you have your husband on your side.
    I’d try and calmly talk to her and try to make her realise how hurtful you found her comments and if she’s not interested or does it again then that’s when I’d be cutting her out.

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  • That would annoy me but before cutting her out I’d try talking to her first and let her know her comments hurt. If she continued after that then yes I’d cut her out.

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  • Next time you are in a crowd with her ask loudly where can I buy toilet paper 1 foot wide as everyone says you will be the one to know

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  • That’s terrible. I wouldn’t want to go around there either. She doesn’t deserve to have anything to do with you or your baby. I’m so glad your husband is on your side. Tell her in front of everyone that you won’t go to see her until she apologises for being so rude to you. Congratulations to you and your husband on the birth of your first child.

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  • What a horrible mother in law. I wouldn’t visit her either. I probably would confront her and put her back in her spot.

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  • I would be avoiding your mother-in-law where possible without making it obvious, as it probably is not worth the fight. My daughter put on a lot of weight having her child and she is finding it difficult to lose the weight as she priorities the baby needs above hers. Both of you will lose the weight in time.

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  • I wouldn’t want to be around this MIL either. Next time she says it is unfair that she doesn’t see the baby, I or your husband should point out it is unfair the way she speaks about you!

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  • I hear stories like this and I’m glad I don’t have a MIL.

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  • How o sensitive, selfish and a very inconsiderate human being. To be honest I would not want her negative behaviour around me. Wasted energy.
    Stay clear for now.

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  • In situations like this you need to stand your ground. I’ve had a run in with my MIL, she had me in tears on two seperate occasions. My partner said he didn’t want me or our child visiting her anymore and that if she wanted to see the baby she had to come to us. We didn’t see her for months, it was nice.

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  • Each of the MIL’s comments could be completely innocent. This sounds like a breakdown in communication. It would be nice if the Dad’s family helped them out. With a newborn, even leaving the house is difficult.

    • Yes we should bare in mind that after giving birth we are more emotional and sensitive

    Reply

  • Wow. What a piece of work. It’s never okay to comment on anyone’s weight. How dare she.

    • I agree; weight and appearance should not be commented on; it is rude and shows a lack of good manners. There are more important things in life to focus on such as developing trusting and loving relationships and enjoying family life.

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  • Not her place to comment about her weight! I hate people like that. She must be so vain that she had to “prioritise” losing weight over everything else! Does this mean she’d just dump the baby with whoever to go to the gym or do whatever it took for her to get rid of the extra weight?! Doesn’t sound like a very good mum to me.
    Glad the hubby is behind his wife 100%!!!

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  • MIL should be ashamed of herself.

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  • I am really sorry. All mothers in law do this.

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  • Wow, the attitude of the mother in law is disgusting and rude. Losing baby weight can be really hard work and it’s completely unfair to comment on this period- especially only 4 weeks after!

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  • Firstly, I thought as women we’d come a long way but obviously not. There’s no need to body shame anyone. The whole idea is as women we should be uplifting each other. If you feel she’s slighting you with her comments, get your husband to have a chat. As for them not visiting, I say it’s good because with you visiting them you can leave but when they visit, it’s not so easy to get people to leave. I know hormones are running rife but try not to let her get to you. She’s obviously not a happy woman. You just do you and your little family.

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  • Take a huge step back. I had the same with me once my daughter was born and haven’t seen or spoken to her the last few months it’s been so peaceful

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  • I think her husband should step up and tell his mother she’s out of line.

    Reply
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