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It sounds like something that deserves to be on a Jerry Springer show, but it’s actually a reality for a couple who met when they were teens. One dad worries that his son is engaged to his step-daughter, and it’s causing problems in their family.

“My son and step daughter recently revealed to me and my wife that they have been dating secretly all this time and that they’re engaged and that they plan on getting married and starting a family. They also said that they did not tell us sooner because they were afraid of how I would react.”

His 27-year-old son, and 26-year-old step daughter, met back when they were 16 and 15. He shared, “To be honest, something like this happening was a concern for me because they were both teenagers and wouldn’t see each other as siblings but they got along well so I forgot about it.”

The two hit it off and started secretly dating, “They said they started dating a few months after they met and have continued till now.”

“I also know that both of they went colleges in 2 cities very far from each other so they somehow still kept the relationship alive. When they were in college they would only meet whenever they came back for the holidays and I remember that they both were more happy to see each other than us, all of this explains it. They would also go out together “shopping” or “just to see the city” alone. They were other instances which made a lot more sense now. They both live in a different city, my wife and I thought they lived separately but they actually have been living together for 2 years now,” he continued.

While it was a little hard to comprehend at first, the father feels that he should support them, understanding why they kept it a secret, “I am happy for them as long as they are happy. My wife on the other hand was a different story, she went completely ballistic. She started screaming that it’s disgusting and that they’re siblings and this is incest. My step daughter started crying and my son just took her by the hand and left our home.”

While he is accepting of his son’s relationship, his wife is demanding that he break them up and make them date other people, “My wife wants me to somehow convince them to break up and date other people. All I said was ‘They met when they were 16 and 15. They don’t see each other as siblings. If we oppose this, they will hate us forever and I’m sure that they would rather stop talking to us forever than breakup.'”

He is refusing to break them up, knowing the consequence will probably be the couple disowning their parents, “Even I am a little uncomfortable by this but I understand and there really isn’t much I can do. I love my son and step daughter and I know they would disown us if we opposed this.”

Sadly, this has caused problems in the relationship between him and his wife, “My wife is angry now and hasn’t really talked to me ever since this happened.”

Do you think he should step in? Or support their relationship?

  • They are only siblings by marriage. Id stay out of it and let it run its own coarse.

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  • Well done dad. I understand mum’s just reacting to her values, however some investment in developing her emotional intelligence will help prioritise love and happiness.

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  • I think the Dad is doing the right thing and keeping out of it. His wife may need counselling to find out why she feels the way she does. If the kids aren’t blood related they aren’t doing anything wrong. If you try to break them up then you may never see them again.

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  • Your son and steph daughter are right not to see each other as siblings. Your son and steph daughter are adults and if you don’t want to destroy your relationship with then, you as parents need to step back and leave them making their own decisions. The parents should focus on how to keep their own relationship healthy

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  • The parents need to get some counselling to save their relationship. The ‘children’ are grown adults and aren’t actually blood relatives.

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  • I’m not sure how his wife expects him to interfere between two adults.


    • Yes, I was wondering this as well. It would be totally out of line. My eldest 2 kids are 17 and 16 and I feel it’s already not my place to tell them who to hang out with or not. Not when I want to keep a good relationship with them. They’ll have to discover things themselves

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  • They have been together for so long i think at this stage all you can do is support them. Yes it is not ideal but why does the mother believe her relationship is more important than her daughters.

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  • They’re not blood related, so whilst it seems a bit weird, there’s nothing wrong with it.

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  • I honestly don’t see any issues. Their not even remotely related, its just chance their parents married each other… this happens, i know of instances where people get married and each partners their parents end up together. Not a big deal and these things should be considered when teens are involved in unions.

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  • How could the wife even expect from the dad that he should break his 27-year-old son, and 26-year-old step daughter up ?? What era does she live in ?

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  • I don’t see the issue really, they met as teenagers, they aren’t actually related to each other through blood, nor did they grow up together. The mothers reaction is unfounded.

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  • Whilst I completely understand the mother’s initial reaction, she needs to get over it and love her children and support them. It’s a long term relationship, it’s obviously the real deal so she should be happy for them. I’ve always told my children they can tell me anything and that I may fly off the handle at first but I promise I will discuss it properly and openly after the outburst.

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  • The ‘mother’ is being completely ridiculous. Whilst she might feel uncomfortable about the situation is is SHE and her second husband/partner who introduced their respective kids to living in a shared residence during their teens. It was THEIR decision that saw two teens living under the same roof…the introduced the opportunity and possibility of a relationship in their own home between their children. ‘Mum’ needs to grow up and accept that it’s her decisions about her life that created a climate where two young people could meet and build a relationship. Outside that issue, it is NOT INCEST. They are not genetically related, any romantic relationship they have is healthy and normal. It’s the mother who has issues, not the ‘kids’.

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  • Would the Mother of the bride have reservations about dating the Father of the groom? Because that’s the same as what these kids are doing. There are no blood relatives involved, so let them be.

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  • They are not related by blood and haven’t been brought up as ‘brother and sister’. I can understand the husband and wife being a little concerned. but probably mainly because of how others would react …. there is nothing illegal and/or immoral about their relationship …..

    Reply

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