I am afraid I agree with the wife. Too me he is basically a slob. He should be extremely grateful that he has a wife who takes pride in the house, her children and him. Cleanliness is so important for hygiene issues.

Wow that’s not fair the poor guy!

I cannot stand mess to me Mess is unhealthy and unclean

Oh that’s so hard to live with someone with very different ideas of cleaning

It would be what I expect too. If you clean up the way she says then it is so easy to do as the dirt and grime hasn’t been lying there so that it is then hard to remove – same with dishes. Do it straight away and it’s a breeze. Sorry, but I don’t know any woman who wouldn’t wash the bed sheeting every week, mop the floor daily when you have littlies who crawl round the floor and bring in the bins straight after they are emptied. Some councils will actually fine you if you leave the bins outside for more than 8 hours after collection! I think you had better shape up or you can kiss goodbye to your marriage and living with someone prior to marriage is not the answer you seem to think it might have been either.

• • 
  • • mom101628 replied
    • 22 Feb 2023 , 10:55 pm

  ---

  YES – You are a SLOB!!!

I think that your wife is correct on some issues. Having the dishes done is a must. The kids having a bath every day not so much of an issue unless they have been playing in the dirt/mud. Leaving the bins out could be a sign of people not home, so an invite to the not so honest people. The bedding SHOULD BE washed weekly. The toys could be put in a box at the end of the kids playing time. I would have gone off too. You are not working and you are not keeping the place tidy either. Yes you are a bit of an a**hole. I am not a fanatic cleaner but there are some things that just need to be done daily and weekly. Bugs, cockroaches, ants are just a few things that could invade your home by leaving dirty dishes, greasy pans around. Work it out with your wife if you still want to be in a marriage and have your kids around.

Sounds like normal tasks that should be done

Yes you are lazy but she’s also being unreasonable. If you’re going to stay at home then you need to do the jobs your wife would normally do around the home. There should be some middle ground though. I’m not a clean freak but I make sure the dishes are done after a meal, toys are put away by teatime bins are brought in the same day they are emptied. Sounds to me like you just laze around the house all day. If you don’t change your ways, you won’t get to see your kids grow up with you there. Might be an idea for you to get a job and hire in a housekeeper to keep the peace and your family together

Wow! There has to be some middle ground and some ‘give and take’ by both parties in terms of what will work for them as a family. Is it really worth possibly splitting up over this?

Seems pretty standard daily tasks. I think she is right about getting a cleaner. Or some adjustments need to be made here and maybe a list of what’s expected daily and weekly, decided by both parties.

There has to be a balance between this couple. The wife isnt wrong, i do most of the things she is asking him for. Only that men take it lightly and they have a different perspective…my hubby would be in the same boat as this guy if i hand him the keys

Wow what a difference between these partners. I think she is within reason to want the kids bathed each day and toys packed up. It must be very frustrating for her, especially when she is working so many hours.

A compromise is needed here some of her demands are reasonable and some are not in my opinion. You need to stand up for yourself and tell her that you will step up to a certain extent but will never be quite as good as what she expects. Ask her if she would be willing to see a marriage counselor and maybe they can work out a plan for you both.

I don’t think her demands are over the top. They seem to be regular cleaning tasks to be honest.

Sorry stay at home dad this is just normal cleaning to me I think she’s right

Her demands don’t seem too bad. I men washing the sheets once a week is healthy and normal, vacuuming and moping a couple of times a week is normal and bathing the kids everyday is great. the only thing I find harsh is having the dishes done there and then. I Get it after a main meal but if its just a glass or 2 at the end of the night just leave it.

I think they need to sit down and work something out together. It can be hard for working/stay at home couples to get a routine going.

I don’t think she is being unreasonable. I don’t mind dishes being left in the sink for a few hours but not days. I think it’s all about balance and compromise when in a relationship and each person has different expectations. Work together to find what can work for both.

Honestly I don’t think she’s being unreasonable. I wouldn’t want to come home to dirty dishes on the bench either and bringing the bins in takes 2 seconds…

Her demands aren’t unreasonable… that’s all a very reasonable thing to request.. you are the Ahole. She has every right to fly off about thingys not being done. The house should be kept clean