Once upon a time…
A young woman gazed out the window as the sun rose for the 2nd time. The burning sensation enveloped her again as the muscles contracted. Her husband’s hand was crushed for the millionth time. The urge to push was thankfully and finally upon her after 56 hours of arduous labour.
“It’s a girl,” cried the midwife. Love engulfed the hearts of the new parents as they nursed their 6lb daughter, Jody.
That’s me; my birth. When I came into the world I was named Jody, not mum.
I am not just a mum.
I got that name much later in life. A badge I wear proudly and gratefully. I love being a mum but it’s not who I am. It’s a part of who I am. In a different dimension/ parallel universe if I had no children I would still be me. I wouldn’t just cease to exist into oblivion. I do believe in this world my life is far richer from having children but is not all of who I am.
I’m not just a mum.
Not just L’s mum, C’s mum or S’s mum. I am firstly and foremost Jody, a woman and then a wife and a mother. Many of us forget that to our own detriment. My mother is one of those. Sacrificed herself for her children to the point of mental exhaustion in which she has never recovered. More than likely never will.
I see many Mumma’s struggling once children have left home. They have empty nest syndrome and forget what to do with themselves now that the children have flown the coop. Have they forgotten what else that brings them joy? It took a bit for me to remember what brings me joy, things like learning, music and dancing even if like an untrained seal, are some things that I have reclaimed since putting myself first i.e. reclaiming me.
Do I sound selfish? Cold and heartless? Maybe to some but I believe if I put myself first then I am a far better woman, wife and mother. Why?
BECAUSE I AM FLIPPIN’ HAPPY AND I HAVE JOY!
I tried the self-sacrificing way and I was miserable and thus my kids and husband weren’t all that happy either. I was negative and toxic and thus the family unit began to follow suit. Since I have changed my outlook and way of thinking things have SIGNIFICANTLY changed.
Self-care and self-love are on my top priority these days, particularly scheduling activities that bring me joy, satisfaction and growth to me personally. Activities such as:
- Affirmations as a daily ritual morning and night.
- Gratitude journal.-Nightly ritual of giving thanks.
- Activities that bring me joy such as dancing listening to music etc.
- Not listening to negativity such as the news.
- Daily vigorous exercise.
- Personal development courses from life transformation to personal interests and hobbies.
These 6 things may not seem like much but they have affected me deeply and my family. Mumma if you are stuck in a rut and looking for a way to see the light. Start with the first 3 at least. Your life will change for the better. If you can’t afford courses, (trust me none of mine have been expensive) read books on personal development. Whatever you are drawn too, listen to what your heart and mind are telling you. You will know instinctively what you need. You can download from iTunes or audible or even go to your local library. There are means and ways to get you started on your self- love journey or the reclaiming you journey.
Mumma you’re worth it. Just like I believe I am worth it. Cause we are not just mothers! We are women with personalities (sometimes multiple) with purpose, complexities and layers that can be far beyond motherhood. Embrace yourself cause you are awesome.
Until next time Mumma…
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