I am fantastic sleeper. I’ve even considered putting it on my CV. Lee-at has demonstrated exceptional sleep behaviours and is proficient at it both autonomously and in a team environment.
Of course this has all gone out the window since babies arrived and I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night. Never mind the kids.
It’s a funny thing – sleep.
Free, natural, and at the core of who we are, yet as a parent it is one of the most talked about, debated and hypothesized topics of discussion it actually now just bores me to tears.
Yet, no matter how much I try to ignore it, it’s everywhere.
Like being asked the same stupid question for the kid’s first 12 months of life, “Is he a good sleeper?” Actually makes me want to punch people in the mouth.
Because they seem ok, then they regress, then you try some new method and that seems to work, then they regress again, then you try sleep school, that seems to work, then they regress again, then teething/illness throws the whole thing out, then you pay a sleep consultant to be bad cop, then you fail at it miserably, then you have a few good nights, then you don’t, then you try bribery, then you stop caring. Then you try bribery again. Then you have another kid. Repeat.
So is he a good sleeper? I don’t know. It depends on the day.
The industry of sleep of course just feeds off our anxiety and need for this God given right with never ending products and services. It can make your head spin and your credit card cry but at 3am, you’ll try anything. Trust me, I’ve done it all.
From Save our Sleep, to a school for sleep, endless comforters, special clocks, fancy rockers and everything in between. I even saw a daytime TV ad for a series of books that apparently induce sleep! Seriously?! I’m just hangin out for semi-legal over the counter baby Xanax. One day…
But like all parents in denial, I’ve found reasons and probably excuses for his bad nights, like:
- It’s the birds
- It’s daylight savings
- I think he’s teething
- He’s going through a “leap”.
- It must be another sleep regression
And on and on.
But then they enter toddler years and the whole sleep thing changes meaning because NOW they can get out of their bed and have a conversation (read: shouting match) with you.
Like, the other night, my 3 year old woke up at 4am and when asked why he couldn’t sleep, said “I’m sad”.
You sleep in a car bed surrounded by Darth Vader and the entire Star Wars brigade of characters. You are warm, you are fed, you are loved.
And so finally I worked out why he was sad. He’d forgotten the name of Woody’s friend from Toy Story.
“Buzz Lightyear,” I try. “No.” Shakes head.
“Oh, maybe Jessie?”
His big eyes light up. Yes! Mummy nails her completely useless Disney general knowledge again.
Thank the lord, he didn’t ask about the double dissolution thing going on. Much safer ground here with Woody and co.
And so he toddles off happily back to bed, and I follow suit.
Crawling in, I notice that the other side is no longer occupied as husband is now dealing with the baby in the other room. I look at the clock and think to myself, morning sex, now that’s the holy grail. And I am little bit sad.
Can you relate to this? Please share your comments below.
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