Have you ever wondered why as soon as you arrive to pick up the kids they start misbehaving? Well wonder no more…

We touched on a similar topic last year with our article on, “Teach kids kindness but also teach them it’s OK to be an arsehole.” The main gist of that story was that kids should be allowed to relax in their own environment, their “safe place” and let their feelings and emotions go.

Constance Hall has today shared a similar message in that for many children that safe place is actually MUM.

Constance shares, “I read an article once that stated studies proved that kids are 800% worse behaved when their mums are in the room.”

She goes on to explain, “Well recently a professional explained what is really going on.

“Yes, on the surface kids become way more hard work when mums around.

But that comes down to one thing, it takes so much for a littley to behave and suppress the many emotions and desires to explore naughty behaviours that pop into their heads during the day. But they don’t do it to be “good”.

They work so hard at being good because their strongest connection, most significant relationship isn’t their to take care of their emotions with them.

Enter Mum and kids actually see a “safe place” to process and let go of all the things they have been working so hard at holding in while they weren’t their. And a safe place to experiment biting their brother around… and a safe place to demand 400 bandaids for a paper cut…

Holding that shit in is overwhelming.

Which is kind of cute.

Being their safe place, the bad arse behaviour comes out of love and not disrespect.”

Totally makes sense, don’t you think?

Children need to feel that they can express themselves without fear and if mum (or maybe dad for some) isn’t that one person they can feel safe to do that with, then who is?

Share your comments below.

Related story – Teach kids kindness but also teach them it’s OK to be an arsehole 

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  • that is a cute way to think of it. kids should feel comfortable around their parents


  • This might be correct for some children but certainly not all.


  • It’s a honor and a compliment to be their safe place, although it doesn’t always feel that way ;)


  • This explains a lot


  • Would like to see a medical study on this.


  • The theory above might apply to about 98% of kids but not all.
    My Auntie and Uncle definitely were not strict with my cousin. If she was staying with anybody at all (some spoilt her rotten) the minute she heard her parents’ voices she would start whinging about something. Sometimes she was only with others for a couple of hours. Playing a game with other kids, laughing “her head off” only a few seconds before. Some of ours and their friends kids were the same.


  • Makes sense, though I know I behaved better in front of my mother because she was strict. I didn’t feel “safe” emotionally around her, scared rather.


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