Studies reveal that mums think their partner is a bigger source of stress than their kids…

Raising kids isn’t easy, but it turns out that dealing with your partner can be even more difficult. Studies have shown that nearly half of mums believe that their partners cause them more stress than their kids do, often due to the way that parental responsibilities are shared within the family.

Taking Time Out

Mums were found to have less than an hour of leisure time per week resulting in high stress levels, while dads had over 100 minutes of time to themselves. Multi-tasking was also found to increase the pressure on mums resulting in negative feelings and work-family conflict. While millennial dads spend nearly three times as much time with their kids as previous generations, many parenting duties are still considered the responsibility of mums, leading to feelings of resentment between couples. The study says that dads can make small but meaningful changes to alter this dynamic and help balance the parental pressure.

Sharing the Load

Even though dads are more involved than ever when it comes to raising their kids, 52% admit that they change their child’s nappy less than their partner according to an article published on motherhood website Motherly. Changing your child, bathing them and dressing them increases the bond between parent and child, so dads this could be a good place to start if you’re trying to help out more. Balancing chores and offering emotional support are also ways to reduce the stress of parenthood and marriage, with effective communication highlighted as an essential part of helping mums to feel valued.

We think that most dads do an incredible job of juggling their responsibilities, but it’s always good to have regular conversations as a couple to ensure that no one is feeling over burdened and that parental responsibilities are shared equally as much as possible.

How do you divide parental responsibilities in your family? Let us know in the comments.

  • My partners were toxic and abusive so I definitely felt incredible stress that affected my physical and emotional health. I can’t stand the thought of any more potential stress which is why I have no desire to partner with someone again. Not for a long time anyway. I like being able to breathe and not being controlled.


  • total agree with this


  • It can be a tough situation.


  • ???? per cent agree with this. I read once that a woman’s workload increases more when she moves in with a male partner then it does when she has a baby! I ???? per cent agree with that too. I don’t know how it happened, but I do everything, inside and outside, and it’s something I constantly complain to him about


  • The only thing that really annoys me is that certain things are assumed about our kids and who’s responsible for it.


  • I know one Dad who does as much or on some cases more of the chores the Mum does. The only thing he rarely does is the cleaning. He does all the outside work and fixes anything that needs to be maintained, repaired etc.


  • I do tend to do more around the house as I am a stay at home mum of 3 kids under 4. My husband works hard doing his pHd in mechanical engineering at uni, so I’m more than happy to be changing all the nappies, housework etc. He actually helps out so much still, especially at bedtime. I’m so thankful he does!
    He actually even minds the kids occasionally if I feel like I need to go have fun shopping for a few hours.


  • I saw a good quote – women are expected to work like they don’t have kids, and raise kids like they don’t work. Seems true to me!

    • it’s the mental burden as well, always having to remind someone to do something


  • My husband and I both used to work full time but I was lucky enough to find a couple of great baby sitters. I didn’t have a choice but when I got home it was still my job to cook the meals, do the laundry and look after the boys. He helped out whenever he could.


  • We share things very well in our family. My hubby has always been a present father and even taken employment that means he can spend more time with our son. He helps with cooking, taxi-ing, attends meetings and appointments. He’s a good one. But, we’re all in this together, too.


  • My partner works. So I’m at home full time with three kids. I am always cooking cleaning and looking after the kids. My husband doesnt know or understand how hard it is to to do chorus while help the kids. And he wonders why I’m so tired every night.


  • The arrangement we have suits us. Husband works full time and is away from home half the time. I work part time and do the majority of the household jobs. I get my kids to help me now. My husband contributes when he can. My only gripe is the languaging around the shared household duties. My husband always says… “I’ll help you with that ….” …. and furthermore I often thank him for helping me. Albeit minor, the messaging implies that all the parenting and household chores are my responsibility which is true but this arrangement may not be aligned with the expectations of my sons’ future partners of the same generation ????
    Hmmm…. interesting topic for “over dinner discussion” one night I think.


  • Agree completely. My partner works long days but the responsibility of looking after the home and kids falls solely on me plus I will be returning to work 2 days a week soon. He doesn’t realise how easy he has it!!!


  • I agree to a point. Dads seem to have it so much easier so much of the time.


  • I’m in the same situation as Ellen. I stay at home so I do all the jobs in the house and I am fine with that.


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