A mum fears she has ruined her relationship, after introducing her boyfriend’s parents as ‘grandma and grandpa’ at their first meeting with her young son.

The 29-year-old mum of one, who has a four-year-old son from a previous relationship, says she has been seeing 25-year-old Jay for 18 months, and describes him as ‘the most amazing man in the world’.

“He’s been amazing with my son (his biological father is not in his life) and I can genuinely see him as ‘the one’,” she explained on reddit.

She says Jay invited her and her son over for dinner with his parents, who she has only met three times in the year-and-a-half they’ve been together.

“I have not had any time to really bond with them I guess. They had never met my son in person either, but they both knew about him.

“By the time I arrived Jay’s parents were already there and helping him finish up dinner. We greeted each other and Jay’s dad asked, ‘And who’s this little guy?’. I introduced them to my son and then introduced Jay’s parents as ‘Grandma and Grandpa’ to my precious boy. I didn’t notice at the time, but all three of them became quiet almost immediately.

“I ended up waiting in the living room alone for almost half an hour before dinner and things just were incredibly awkward for the rest of the night. My son did end up calling his parents by ‘grandpa and grandma’ and I quickly noticed both of them would be very disingenuous and awkward about it over dinner but they did not say anything to me about it. They didn’t stick around for long after either but when they left both were very cold to me.

“I asked Jay what was their deal and he lost it at me.”

“He claims I put him in an incredibly awkward position. His parents apparently didn’t think we were ‘that serious’ yet and began to question him if I was only using him as a ‘replacement daddy’. He said that it was way out of line to introduce them that way without even talking to him beforehand. I think it’s ridiculous. If one day he’s going to be my son’s stepdad then why go through this formal nonsense? He claimed that’s ‘not the point” and we ended up fighting till I stormed out.

“We have not talked since and I have simply been waiting for an apology.”

What do you think about this situation? Have your say in the comments below. 

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  • I think she might have been a bit hasty. It’s a very awkward and personal situation and she should have perhaps had a chance to meet them first, without her son, and then maybe approach them and ask what they’d like to be called.


  • Not a good move for a first time meeting of his parents. It would have put him in an awkward position and shocked his parents. You needed to take baby steps. I hope you can rekindle your relationship with him and take a different approach. I think you should be the one to apologise to his parents first and foremost for assuming you could place that heading on them and then to your boyfriend who was probably just trying to get through the first time introduction of you and your son to his parents. Try contacting him and making time to sit and discuss the situation with him, but your apology is crucial and could be the deal-breaker with your relationship to him and definitely with his parents. People need time to get to know each other before they get tagged with titles they are not ready for yet.


  • Wow! I’m sorry but that’s just so irresponsible of you. How confusing to your child if something happens and you split up. There goes his so called “grandparents”. Way too soon to do anything like that especially on the first meeting and that’s something that should’ve been discussed with the boyfriend’s parents before hand. Don’t agree at all.


  • Especially not on the first meeting. Tensions probably rose in the room!


  • That is super awkward and I don’t think at all appropriate


  • Way too soon and without consent from the partner and parents. I can see why everyone was uncomfortable.


  • Sorry, but you are the one who needs to apologise. That was a big no no.


  • Probably a good idea to communicate more. This is not an unsalvageable relationship – they just need to talk.


  • I think you should have spoken to your partner first and his parents to make sure they were happy to have those titles and that they were happy to be called that. One you haven’t been together long and 2 some people use different names for these things. Also his parents may not want to play that role even if he chooses to play the father role.


  • Way too much, too fast! You’ve only met these people 3 times and this is your son’s first time meeting them. You aren’t married or even engaged. I can totally see why they were uncomfortable with it. I understand that you did it with the best intentions but try and see it from their point of view. Maybe its you that needs to apologise?…


  • Ooh, yeah I do think that was totally inappropriate and not the right time. I would think this required much discussion before doing this to her son.


  • I do think she was wrong. She should have talked about it first, not only with her boyfriend but also his parents. There are a whole load of assumptions that come with “grandma and grand-dad”, and she shouldn’t have made them.


  • I don’t think it was out of line, a little weird… yes. I definitely think they should have had a conversation about it first, but I don’t see it reason for the family to be upset at her about.


  • Is your son calling your boy-friend ‘Daddy’? If he isn’t then why would you introduce his parents like that? And obviously he isn’t for the parents to not realise that the relationship is a solid one. Think you may have lost this relationship now because of not thinking clearly and talking about this to your friend first.


  • I think she should have waited and yes it was out of line. How awkward that would have been. What if the relationship broke down, the poor kid would be so confused.


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