Hello!

“You have two boys? That’s a shame”…Someone actually made that comment to me the other day when I mentioned to them that I have two boys. Seriously.

“That’s a shame”. Those words cut me.

Why is it a shame that I have two healthy, happy boys? Is it because I have two boys, and not a boy and a girl?

It seems this person feels that I’m missing out on a great parenting experience by having two boys. Like I’ve been dealt a crap hand and not gotten a girl out of the deal with the universe.

Yes, I realise that that by not having a daughter, there are some things that I won’t get to experience. I won’t get to go shopping with my daughter for her wedding dress. I won’t ever be told, “Mum, I’m pregnant!”.

But you know what? I’m a proud mum of two boys, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

At the moment, when one of my boys farts, the other laughs like it is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever heard. In fact, our seven year old has actually fallen off his chair from laughing so hard at his younger brother’s fart before. He’s even taught the toddler the ‘pull my finger’ trick. Personally, I don’t get it, but it’s hard to not start laughing when they’re so caught up in the moment and in a fit of hysterical giggles.

I may never walk my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, but I will make sure that the woman who marries my son will be marrying a gentleman.

I will make sure I help raise a man to be proud of. A man who shows respect and kindness, and hopefully by then, he has stopped laughing at farts.

Thanks to living with three males, Star Wars has somehow been absorbed into my brain without any effort on my behalf. The other day I actually referred to our seven year old as “Padawan” without even realising it…But I’d much rather that than have Frozen on constant replay!

I won’t have to deal with anyone else’s PMS in the house each month. That’s probably a very good thing as I’m pretty awful to be around when I have PMS, so for my husband to be subjected to living with other scary, cranky women, that would just be hell.

Yes, my boys will fight with each other. I’m not naïve enough to think that they will live in a peaceful cohabitated state and share all of their possessions with each other without arguments.

But when they do fight, it will be out of their system. No cattiness.

Even now when they squabble over a particular toy car, or one of them ‘steals’ the cardboard tube that is doubling as a light sabre (there is no escape from Star Wars in this house), within five minutes, they’re back to being great friends, giving each other a hug and have completely forgotten about the incident that caused the squabble in the first place.

I have two healthy, happy, clever boys. Yes, they drive me to the brink of madness every now and then, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

They’re my boys, and I couldn’t be more proud. I’m actually not missing out on anything at all.

Do you have all boys or all girls? Has it ever been implied to you that you’re somehow missing out too? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • That’s a shame that the person who said that to you is a complete moron.

    Reply

  • My husband has two boys, Ethan 13 and Riley 10, I also have a son Riley who is 9. We are expecting a baby girl in April, we are delighted to be having a girl but would have been equally pleased if we were expecting a boy. I think whatever combination you get with whatever the number of children you decide to have be happy that you are blessed with what you have. If your happy then that is what counts and you will be a great parent for it.

    Reply

  • I have 2 beautiful boys and when I was pregnant with my second son I did think it would be nice to have a boy and a girl. I actually was quite comvinced I was having a girl. Now that my son is here (8 months) I wouldn’t have it any other way! Things are so much easier with passing on clothes and toys and I’m sure things will get even easier in this regard as they get older. People already ask me if I’m going to have another to try for a girl, I just smile and say no we are done and happy with our boys. I think it is human nature for people to think this way. As a woman I’m sure it would be nice to have a daughter and experience that bond like I have with my own mother but for now I am very content with my gorgeous little men.

    Reply

  • I have three boys and one girl and no longer do I get ohh, it’s lovely you have boys and a girl, I get “your poor daughter won’t have anyone to play with at home”, to which I always reply, she has her brothers and many female friends.

    Reply

  • I have a boy and am pregnant with my second which is a girl but I would have been just as thrilled with another boy.

    Reply

  • just give them this reply: I have been blessed with two beautiful healthy boys what else would I wish for.

    Reply

  • You are blessed with what you are given. Be grateful that they are happy and healthy.

    Reply

  • I have 5 boys, and was just recemtly blessed with my princess.. I pity any boys she dates in the future… Shes going to be one well protected little girl….

    Reply

  • I am the mum of 3 adult boys . Yes , I did have some people making comments about it being a shame that I didn’t have a girl . I’d always said that I wanted 3 boys , my mother remembers me saying this in my early teens . I was very happy to have the boys and used to tell people so .

    Reply

  • Hahaha. I have two boys and it’s often been said to me, but wouldn’t you like to have had a girl? Nope. I say that one of my boys is like having a girl anyway, the amount of time he changes in the day. Something’s on for five minutes, it goes in the wash and he puts something else on. The amount of hair product, dryer, straightener, none of them are mine. I also reckon my eldest gets pre-menstrual as well. So no, I don’t miss having a girl.

    Reply

  • I have 2 boys also one 5 and one 5 months. I love just watching them. Heath looks up at hisnbig brother with such admirarion and declan reads and sings to heath all the time. They are so special to each other, the best of friends. Wouldnt change it for the world. They are inseperable

    Reply

  • Yes I’ve actually had that said to me also but it’s a shame I have 2 boys I know I am definitely not missing out on anything as long as your children are healthy and happy that’s all that matters actually walked away thinking about it for the rest of the day and came to the conclusion but it makes no difference if you have 2 girls altar boys or a boy and a girl I actually wanted to have boys anyway just my preference

    Reply

  • Growing up as the eldest of three girls, I just love having my two boys. They are a refreshing change and as we all know boys love their mums the best!

    Reply

  • that comment was incredibly rude. wow. i hope you explained to them how rude it was!

    Reply

  • As crazy as it is, many people do still have this notion that having one of each creates the “perfect” family unit and many of whom also make these comments without even realizing how bad it actually sounds and how absurd the comment really is. But for several generations now, that was presented as the ideal situation, so many of us have just subconsciously taken on that idealization and therefore just naturally assumed that this must really be what we’d all really like. It is quite funny though, how this apparently means everything is so perfect then and that you were so “lucky” to have had one of each, even more so if the boy has come first! But these are very old fashioned views which were ingrained into our predecessors for the past 100 years or more due to wars, poverty and a myriad of other socioeconomic situations. These idealizations were greatly fueled by media, governments and corporations so it has been considered as the “stereotypical norm” for a very long time now. But even as ridiculous the situation may seem, unless someone has actually stopped and really thought about this, then it’s an assumption that’s still unfortunately going to be around for some time to come yet, especially for those without children!

    Reply

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