Bullying not only occurs in the playground but also in the carpark between Mothers at schools across Australia!
Some mothers feel so threatened that they will not get out of the car at drop off and pickups to avoid other school Mums.
This is a real issue and one that many Mothers experience on a daily basis, including myself. For many years I would feel like I was being judged as I walked in to drop off and pick up my children.
Most days I would spend extra time making sure I looked “just right” for school!
I remember when my first daughter started school I felt like I was starting high school all over again, needing to fit in, worrying if I was going to be liked and if people would talk to me.
This was an intense time in my life, as it bought back many memories of being bullied at high school. All my feelings of low self worth were exasperated again!
How was I going to get Mums at the school to like me if I could not even get girls from high school to like me?
This went on for many years until I was able to understand that often these thoughts and feelings were all just in my own head and often not in the reality around me.
I needed to heal myself and build up my confidence to be able to not only walk into the school grounds but anywhere as a self-assured and confident person.
I could not change people around me but what I could change is how I felt inside and how I reacted to what was going on around me.
Here are the first 3 crucial steps to help you to avoid bullying at the gate:
- Become your own best friend – we are our biggest critics! We are judgemental and critical of ourselves more than anyone else in our life. How can we expect other people around us to treat us kindly when we do not treat ourselves kindly! Start with you and notice what it is that you are saying to yourself and see how you can be more compassionate to yourself.
- Look within – we cannot change how people around us react or act but what we do have control over is how we act and react. To do this we first need to go within and see what and why we are feeling what we are feeling on the outside. The inside is the only place where long lasting change can happen.
- Treat others as you want to be treated – rise above the pettiness and treat people around you like you would like to be treated. Be respectful and understanding of what people around you are going through.
By dealing with these issues as a mother it frees us up to become the person we want our children to be, as 80% of our children’s behaviours are learnt through role modelling of a parent! Which is why happy mum = happy kids!
Become the happy and confident person you want your children to role model.
Have you ever experienced bullying at the school gate? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.