A mum-to-be says she doesn’t want to be forced to name her baby after her deceased nephew, because of her family’s tradition.
The expecting mum says her family have always had a tradition that the first child born after the loss of someone in the family, gets that late family member’s name as their middle name.
“My sister and I both have those middle names,” she explained. “Her’s is Patricia after a cousin of our mum’s and mine is Denise after my dad’s aunt.”
“Almost a year ago my sister lost her two-day-old son, Philip. He was the last family member we lost and it was a huge, earth shattering blow for our family.
“I found out I was pregnant a few months ago. I waited a while to tell anyone and my sister was the first person we told, privately. When I told her she said it would be nice to have some positive news to focus on and she wanted me to continue the tradition our family keeps and give my baby, if a boy, the middle name Philip. She was so happy about the idea. It surprised me a lot. I would have figured she would not be okay with it. But she wanted it.
“The problem is my husband and I do not want to continue with the tradition. We do not want to give our son the middle name Philip. The name isn’t one either of us likes or would ever pick ourselves. We have not announced the sex of our baby yet but my husband and I know we are expecting a boy.”
While the couple have come to the decision to end the family tradition, the rest of the family isn’t happy.
“My family were saying how amazing it will be if my baby is a boy and Philip’s name can be carried on. I suggested they wait until we announce the sex and the name before jumping to conclusions. They asked why and I said we were thinking of not continuing with the tradition.”
“My family, and by that I mean my parents mostly, were really upset. My sister was the worst though. She asked why I wouldn’t want to honour Philip and why it was him the tradition was getting broken. She asked if I saw him as meaning so little and I said no, of course not. Then she asked if it was his name and we didn’t like it. She said she really hoped it wasn’t that. I said we just didn’t feel like the tradition was something we wanted to continue.
“The decision has brought up a lot of bad feelings and my sister is especially angry and thinks I’m being insensitive and showing how little I care for my nephew. I feel terrible. She’s so angry at me and my parents are unhappy as well. My husband hates them for putting this pressure on us. He said we should be allowed to name our son what we want and we should not be obliged to use a certain name. I never wanted to be an a**hole but my family believes I am.”
What do you think the expecting mum should do? Does your family have a baby naming tradition? Let us know in the comments below.We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.