Is this what the perfect parent police are leaving us with? A generation of new mums too scared to follow their own instincts?

A new mum has turned to MoM answers to ask if she is doing the wrong thing by allowing her 8 week old baby to sleep on her chest.

The worried mum posted, “OK my 8 week old Angel had tummy issues early on. Reflux and wind which she doesn’t seem to have too much trouble now. Some but not bad.

“She only sleeps on me at night and wants the boob to fall asleep. She could be asleep 10 minutes and then searches for it again. She will literally suck sleep suck sleep for hours.

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“It’s 10pm now and she has been at this since 7.30pm. If she does finally stop and is fast asleep. If I lay her down she stirs instantly.

“I’ve tried heating her bed… will she grow out of this? I’m worried I’m doing the wrong thing. I’m just giving her what she needs.”

MoM answers

Mums have shared their thoughts advising the new mum to do what feels right and know she is definitely not doing anything wrong and she is a great mum for doing the best thing for her tiny bubba.

“They are all so different you can only do what you think is right for your child. Some will grow out of it and some will keep going until you’ve had enough. If it is working for your family and you then it’s fine if not then see the health center and they can help you with a sleep specialist,” responded one mum.

Another said, “Babies change all the time, she will change.”

“Yes! I help my baby to sleep a lot at first, he is 3 months old now and getting better at sleeping in his bassinet. My other two kids sleeping their beds and go to sleep on their own most night! PLUS, you don’t see many 20 year olds sleeping on their parents chest! lol So they all grow out of it at some point. Just try get them sleeping in the cot as much as you can and thats all you can do. 8 weeks is very young,” wrote another.

Do what you feel is right said another, “If you are happy doing what you’re doing then by all means keep going! You are supporting your baby. Personally, I found with my daughters relux elevating her cot helped a lot. Also, persistence in getting her to sleep in the cot was important to me as I didnt feel safe with her sleeping on my chest and also I couldnt get sleep. Sometimes just trying something else like patting or sitting beside the cot and it may take a little longer but they will adjust. With the falling asleep feeding, you could try feeding, change nappy then settle to break this association, but again depends what works for you.”

Another shared, “Your baby is still very young and might go through a growth spurt which often goes hand in hand with fussiness. It sounds like cluster feeding to me and this is totally normal.”

What the experts say

Pamela S Douglas, General Practitioner, Researcher, at The University of Queensland says Australia is failing new parents with conflicting advice and it’s urgent we get it right.

She claims our health professionals often recommend approaches to behaviour problems in infants – such as with breastfeeding, crying and fussing, or sleep – that have been demonstrated to be ineffective. Some recommendations actually risk worse health outcomes for both the mother and baby.

She added, “Australian parents receive vastly conflicting advice from different health disciplines, or even from different health professionals in the one discipline. Confusion during an already challenging life transition drives parents to seek opinions from multiple providers.”

Read more here – Australia continues to fail new parents with conflicting advice

Did you struggle with conflicting advice as a new mum?

Share your comments below

  • I’ve always done what I felt was right. That includes safe co-sleeping. We have instincts for a reason.


  • It’s hard being a first time mum. Just go with your gut instinct and what works for you.


  • There is a lot of information and mixed opinions out there which makes it hard for new mums


  • My first would only sleep/be content while sleeping on my chest for some time after he was born. Second, fine in her own bed. Third, fine at the start then I started having her in my bed (was single mum then and since) as it was easier to feed while exhausted. I don’t see any animal leaving their young babies alone to sleep so I don’t know why it should be a thing. Safety, yes, but I liked being right there to make sure they were breathing etc.


  • Too many feel it’s okay to give forceful advice.


  • I would introduce a dummy. Babies get used of things quickly. That mum will be running herself ragged ! I hope baby gets better


  • Introduce a dummy… otherwise there will be months of this ahead.


  • So much confusion with parenting in today’s world, social media and conflicting health professionals just make it worse.


  • I received different and conflicting advice from different people (including nurses!). But the best advice is ‘do whatever works for you!’ Everyone is different, there is NO one advice fits all. The child health nurse had me wake my baby up every two hours for a feed as she wasn’t putting on enough weight. (We eventually changed it to every three hours at night as I was so tired and exhaused). When we had the 6 week check up with the Paediatrician, he was shocked we were waking her up at night. He told us leave her as she will wake up when she is hungry. He thought we were crazy. (We had the best night sleep that night).


  • Follow your instinct, every baby is different so I treat every baby differently, my 2nd had very bad reflux and the first few mths I just cluster feed until he got better then I try to slowly change the sleep pattern one day at a time. I try to pat him to sleep on my shoulder then move to bed. Slowly step by step help him not to rely on the breast to sleep.


  • I ignored most advice. I just did what came naturally to me. When you are told you are “only breastfeeding for you” at your child’s 8 month appointment, it makes you realise health professionals don’t know anything.


  • Basically it is up to what works with your children and yourself.


  • my two prem sons did the same thing, I found I got a lot more rest myself this way


  • Everyone will have their piece of advice, but in the end do what is best for you and your Bub


  • Her baby is only 8 weeks old so I’d be doing whatever eases her pain and gets everyone the most sleep.


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