Mum shares how a friendly chat with parenting expert, Dr Justin Coulson, led her to frequent holidays with the kids. But only ONE kid at a time.

Dilvin Yasa shares on Honey travel how she was thinking about the new habit she has now developed of going away with each child one-on-one.

“It was a tip given to me by parenting expert and father of six, Dr Justin Coulson, who insisted there was no better way to travel as a family. “When each one of our children turns 16, my wife and I will take them on a major holiday so that it’s just the three of us rather than travelling as a family of eight,” he told me. “This way, we get to have decent conversations – and I mean the big conversations – and have quality bonding time together free of distraction.”

Dilvin added, “When we spoke, it was like a light was turned on. I could understand he was also coming from a practical point of view (travelling as a family of eight isn’t what you would call easy, nor would be it cheap), but his argument that families rarely have an abundance of quality one-on-one time together these days resonated with me. Like most families, I’m able to snatch 30 minutes here and an hour there with each of my girls – usually while taking them to an activity and getting a treat afterwards, but for the most part, I’m just barking orders in every direction and hoping something sticks.”

“Since I started taking these one-on-one breaks with my girls (they don’t have to be anywhere fancy, sometimes it’s just a night somewhere), I’ve learned more about my girls than I ever could have hoped for. Days free of distractions by way of needy siblings are gloriously long and we fill the time by having long conversations over hot chocolate, playtime in the pool and even reading side by side in silence. I’ve learned about crushes, friendships gone bad and discovered yes, that my children have a much wider (and ill-advised) vocabulary than I would have given them credit for.”

Have you ever taken a holiday with just one of your children? Share with us below.

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  • Even one weekend would be ideal. Perhaps the other children could have sleepovers with relatives or friends. If the friends have children you could offer to have their child / children for a sleepover.


    • Yes this is an idea. For many years I welcomed the children of several of my friends for sleepovers so the parents could go out. Since we took 2 foster children up in our family under a permanent guardianship order 5 years ago (one with Down Syndrome and one with an attachment disorder/kleptomania) there isn’t as much space to welcome other children over and I certainly can not leave my foster children in the care of friends (no family here) since they have complex needs. I’m limited what I can give 1:1 to my own biological children.

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  • 1:1 outings are something I do, but 1:1 holidays is always going to make the others feel left out

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  • One on one time with each individual kid is important. One on one holidays with each kids might be a bit too expensive for some and depending on the family circumstances not possible. I know it wouldn’t be possible in my family.

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  • I 100% get this! I try and have one on one time with my kids and take them out and do something and it’s so different than an outing with all the kids. It’s great to get some quality time and get to have conversations without the arguing and the sibling rivalry. If money and logistics allowed I would love to do one on one holidays with my kids as well.

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  • I dont think its fair to have holidays with one child while the others are at home. Special day trips one on one i think are great but i love to make family memories together on holidays.

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  • Seems a bit unfair to the other kids..

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  • Sounds like a wonderful idea but what would I do with the other ones…

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  • I have but only when they were older in their teenage years, and because one wanted to stay back for her boyfriend ;).

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  • I only have one kid so my whole life is one on one time.

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  • With a family of 8 quality time is surely important!
    We just have one daughter so we always go on holiday together.

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  • I do 1:1 special days with each of my kids but holidays are as a whole family.

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  • I haven’t yet but I think one on one time is important and you could just do a day out if a holiday isn’t viable which is probably what I will look at doing when the kids are older.

    Reply

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