Hello!

Three year old’s. Wow. Can’t they all go ‘PMS’ on you without warning?

Don’t answer that. It’s a rhetorical question. And I don’t want to hear if you have a perfect three year old. Because, there’s no such thing. Just like unicorns, and uninterrupted phone calls while your child patiently waits.

When in my threenager’s company, I rarely go more than several minutes without encountering his five thousand emotions. Sometimes, all at once. Sometimes only 3,879 at one time. But mostly, I see them all jump down my throat if I have apparently given him the wrong carrot. “NOT THAT ONE MUMMA! THE BIGGGG ONE!! I WANNNTTT THE BIGGGG CARRROTTTTTT! WAHHHHHHHHHHH.”  Shit.

All of his “emotions” don’t last long. Like, maybe five seconds. But some can last longer. Like, maybe all afternoon while Mummy counts down the seconds until Daddy walks in the door.

Here is just a snapshot of some of his favourites:

  1. I’m hungry.
  2. I’m not hungry for that.
  3. Can you lay with me?
  4. Not that close.
  5. Don’t touch me.
  6. Can I have a cuddle?
  7. I wanna watch a show.
  8. Can you read me a story?
  9. I wanna show and story at the same time.
  10. Where’s my Father?
  11. I’m soooo tired.
  12. I wanna sleep. NOW!
  13. I don’t wanna nap! Stop asking me if I’m tired.
  14. Can I ride my bike?
  15. I’m done now.
  16. I want to ride my scooter.
  17. Done now.
  18. Where’s my bike?
  19. Let’s drive to the shops.
  20. I wanna GET OUT of the car!!
  21. I don’t want to get out of the car.
  22. My shoes are too tight.
  23. Can I drive?
  24. SO HUNGRY! GIVE ME FOOD.
  25. Not that.
  26. Have you got a wow?
  27. Can you carry me?
  28. I’m tired.
  29. I wanna run.
  30. Did you bring my scooter?
  31. Can I touch this man?
  32. I WANNA TOUCH THE MAN.
  33. I love Peppa Pig.
  34. Where’s Spiderman?
  35. I don’t like Peppa Pig.
  36. Can I play a game on your phone?
  37. You wanna get me some food?
  38. Let’s call Daddy.
  39. Is Daddy home?
  40. I just want to hang out in my jocks.
  41. I’m cold.
  42. It’s so HOT in here!
  43. You want to play in my room?
  44. Let’s play outside.
  45. WHERE’S MY FOOOOOOD?
  46. I don’t want this food.
  47. Where’s my Spiderman cape?
  48. Where’s my Superman cape?
  49. Where’s my Batman cape?
  50. Take these capes off me.
  51. WHAT’S THAT NOISE?
  52. Can we get a cat?
  53. I need to go wees!
  54. No I don’t.
  55. I hurt my toe. Can I have a bandaid?
  56. EEEK! GET THE BANDAID OFF!
  57. Can I have another bandaid?
  58. I love you Mummy.
  59. Let’s fight!
  60. Is this real cheese?
  61. My hand is hungry.
  62. Can I have a cuddle?
  63. GO AWAY, you smell funny!
  64. I just want to love you.
  65. HOLD MY HAND!
  66. Can you put my dinosaur shorts on?
  67. Look at me doing this scooter trick.
  68. STOP LOOKING AT ME!
  69. Stay here for a second.
  70. MUMM!! COME HERE!!

And so on and so forth.

I walk away amused, shocked, frazzled, a bit loved, brimming with confusion and feeling slightly hungover. And I haven’t even had a drink yet.

I honestly cack myself laughing every day with some of the things that come out of his mouth. A three year old’s mind is weirdly incredible, really.

Can you relate? What kind of weird and wonderful things to your young kids say? Please share in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

  • Im a Carer for special needs children and sometimes its crazy with several emotions in a matter of minutes but every day is different and every day leaves me with something to laugh about.

    Reply

  • How spot on is this? I’ve never thought of comparing a 3 yo to PMS before, but they’re very similar

    Reply

  • When I am going to the toilet, the little one says ‘me come too’.

    Reply

  • BAHHAHAH this is too true! Thank you for this article~

    Reply

  • The contrariness drives me mad sometimes.

    Reply

  • 2 very familiar ones
    I want
    Don’t touch me
    You hurt me – barely touched

    Reply

  • lol, Well written, because it’s so true!

    Reply

  • My 3 year old foster child wanted my eyes closed whilst laying down – he then proceeded to pretend to cut my stomach open with a screw driver (guessing his family were talking about a young relative having a csection) to get my non-existent baby out

    Reply

  • Yup. Big emotions from such small kids!

    Reply

  • Um, this has brought everything back and made me laugh. My teenage son is going through this phase again!! You’d think I’d be better prepared. NOT!

    Reply

  • So pleased this phase is over – but every phase is hard to cope with AT THE TIME.
    Had a laugh at your post – and really like where my life is now!

    Reply

  • Lol so very true and leaves you with a very sore head

    Reply

  • Oh my goodness, how true is this?! It’s a never ending maze of mine fields trying to work out a 3 year old

    Reply

  • Oh gosh, my little one has just turned 2 and this has already started. I hope that means it will end sooner….

    Reply

  • All my kids are now well past 3.
    The thing that used to dive me crazy was the ride in the car when the eldest would delight in stirring up the middle kid. Then i would get “Mum….shes looking at me”…..
    And another thing that drove me crazy “Are we there yet?”…..that question used to make me instantly annoyed…lol

    Reply

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