The mum says she was furious when she discovered the change… almost two months after the birth!

A new mum has shared her anger in an advice column on Slate after discovering that her mother-in-law changed the spelling of her son’s name behind her back. Looking at her son’s birth certificate eight weeks after the birth, the mum says she noticed that his middle name had been recorded with a different spelling, and was horrified when her husband confirmed his mother’s involvement…

Absolutely Furious

The mum says that she had discussed her son’s middle name with her husband prior to the birth and they had agreed on ‘Finley’. Unfortunately, the birth didn’t go as planned and her son was delivered via emergency C-section, which is allegedly when her mother-in-law took the opportunity to put in her two cents’ worth. “I, of course, am furious because I told him I was fine with the middle name but it had to be spelt Finley and he agreed before our son was ever born,” she said. “Now here is where it gets tricky. Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into (changing it to Finlay) while I was asleep after my emergency C-section.” If that’s not total manipulation and taking advantage of a situation, we don’t know what is!!

Not The First Time

To add insult to injury, it turns out that her mother-in-law had also tried to change the first name allegedly saying that her daughter-in-law would “get over it”. The mum said she is debating confronting her mother-in-law about the issue as this kind of interference and manipulation is becoming a pattern. “My husband is very much also at fault for doing this in the first place and we are working through that together, but I feel as though something needs to be said to my mother-in-law,” she wrote.

This story is totally unbelievable – does this mother-in-law sound interfering or what!? Hopefully this new mum is able to change her son’s name to the spelling she originally wanted and get her husband to be a little more assertive when it comes to his interfering mother!

Has a family member ever tried to convince you to change your chosen baby name? Let us know in the comments! 


  • I would have nothing more to do with the woman and to know that her husband did that as she lay asleep after the emergency C-section displays alarm bells to me.

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  • My father did not change the name but forced us to make a choice before we were ready. In one instance we would have called my daughter Michelle Lea, but because my son had been told her her name was Tracy Lea so we just changed her middle name as not to confuse him. He also pressured us into naming our third child but I cried all night and rang him in the morning and said no. Her name is not going to be that and we completely renamed her. I have included a photo of my last child when she was a little older. We called her Stacy Lea

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  • I sure would take distance from my MIL when she would do this and would feel rather betrayed by my husband when he wouldn’t stand beside me in this.

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  • The husband needs to learn to stand up for himself and his wife. If that were my husband and MIL I would tell them both to piss off. I don’t want either of our parents that involved!

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  • I could never forgive my MIL if she did this. I’d change the spelling to how I wanted it and also think seriously about having her charged. She sounds like a very manipulative witch

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  • Unbelievable. Wrong. Manipulative. And there is no doubt a pattern of this kind of behaviour, you don’t just do this out of the blue. This mother-in-law is absolutely and totally out of line and needs to be put back in her place. And this woman’s husband needs to be totally supportive of his wife and not manipulated by his mother. He needs to stand up to her. Nothing about this is okay.

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  • Husband needs to get out from under his mother’s control. Change your child’s name to what you originally decided on & tell the mother in law to butt out if she wants to be able to see her grandchild. It is pathetic that the husband caved in to his mother & it is obvious he has mummy issues so needs to grow up. That sort of in- law can destroy a marriage because they are always interfering & trying to control everyone involved so lay down the rules & tell both husband & MIL they are not negotiable. In most states you have 60 days to register a newborn’s name so perhaps check to see if it can be fixed.

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  • Whaaat?! What made her think she had the right! Sounds like hubby needs to cut the apron strings!

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  • Wow. She’d be copping a piece of my mind for sure. Stay in your lane!

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  • I would be having a word with her, telling her if she ever does something like that again, she won’t be welcome back in the house

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  • Wow that’s not very nice at all, can’t believe that happened! How rude!

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  • Your husband didn’t respect your wishes or discuss with it you. He needs to get his priorities right not be walked over by his Mother. You can change it but I don’t know if you can afford the fee to do it. Did she change the spelling after you signed it or don’t you have to sign birth certificates any more???.

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  • Do think that MIL will not be a very welcome visitor to the house if the father isn’t around.

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  • When I see those names and spellings, to me they are different names.
    If someone did that to me I would destroy them! (Metaphorically ofcourse)
    but end of uninvited visits, access to FB photos or any kind of relationship beyond awkward and strained holiday events

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  • Oh lord… that poor mum. Disrespectful from both her husband and her MIL who should know better being a mother herself.
    I experienced a similar incident from my MIL who demanded we name the baby what she wanted as soon as she found out I was pregnant…. this continued for weeks after the baby was born and when we refused she then pushed for it to be a middle name instead!
    I gave her a mouth full and told her she had her chance with her kids. Something this mum needs to tell her MIL.

    Reply

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